Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Happy Holidays, err...

I was excited, yet concerned a bit about celebrating with my loves family. His parents are great, but his sister and I aren't exactly the best of friends as my close friends well know. We had a blow out before I moved in and things have been at an uncomfortable stand still since. My children adore his parents. Thankfully, his sister is nice to them when I am not around according to my oldest. I was nervous though as his father has mentioned her saying she wasn't sure she could control her temper. I think she did well. Did we speak? Nope! Was it uncomfortable for me? Nope! Everyone else was so nice and there was so much going on all went well. Except when Bronson wanted to open a present early. His mom (aka Nanny) wanted to pass out all the gifts then everyone open at the same time. That is completely understandable. Well, my little fella is only 18 months old. He has zero patience. I was not going to let him because Bryan's youngest nephew is only 2. I understand. Well Bryan's mom mentioned letting Bronson go ahead (again, I would not have said OK) and his sister got all crazy eyed as she reminded her mom that she has two young kids too. It's not fair. She is right. It wouldn't have been fair even though her oldest IS older than Mylie. His mom was trying to prevent a meltdown is all. I say since that was it, we had an amazing holiday. Actually the kids had presents to open for four days! FOUR! They got so much stuff it was mind blowing. Bronson is now a master un-wrapper and Mylie really thought that on Tuesday after Christmas she should get more. She was quite bummed when I told her the good times were over until her birthday, in March. She doesn't have long to wait. She didn't want to hear it! I have to say, this was the best adult holiday season I have experienced. I truly love everyone getting together, telling stories of the past, and eating and laughing. I am SO grateful my little ones got to experience it. I can honestly say now that I do hope that his sister and I are able to mend things before Bryan and I get married or have kids. I hate that his parents are so hurt by this. I understand why though. I also hate that they seem to want desperately to fix it, yet can't. I am glad the holidays are, for the most part over, and look forward to more with my love, and his family.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Don't Know What's Come Over Me

Maybe it's the holidays. The beautiful lights and Christmas music always lifts my mood. I love the sights and smells of Christmas. Maybe it's the peace of a boring relationship, and by boring I mean no picking and fighting. Maybe it's just falling more in love. I am not sure what it is but it's strong and almost overwhelming. I could stare at that man all day. I miss him like mad when either he or I am at work. I cannot keep my hands off of him. I love snuggling and breathing him in. I just cannot get enough of him. I am so completely happy it's unreal. Sometimes I sit and just cannot believe I am with this man. I was so miserable for so long and really thought, but prayed not, that I always would be. I remember sitting there thinking about being old and completely miserable and how sad that would make me. I almost feel undeserving. He is so kind and loving. His family is great. He is a father to my kids, much more so than their sperm donor. I know I sing his praises all the time, but I just adore him. What's even better, he loves the attention. I used to get pushed away all the time, so I worry often that I am bugging him. He always reassures me that he enjoys the attention. I've been so gushy with love that he asked me if I was pregnant! He assumed I must be full of hormones. Not the case just yet. Regardless of if it's the holidays or I"m just full of love,I'll take it!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Holidays

I am getting so stoked about the upcoming holidays. Although I have to work Thanksgiving, my kids will finally get to experience a big family Thanksgiving dinner with Bryan and his sweet family. I LOVED Thanksgiving growing up. My mom was one of six, so between my aunts, uncles, grand parents and cousins it was so much food and so much fun. I want my babies to have memories like that. I've almost completed my kids Christmas shopping. I've got to get a couple more gifts. I'm excited that Bryan loves Christmas too, so he's willing to hang out side lights and really decorate. I would really like to take the kids to Stone Mountain for their Santa village and light show. I feel so hopeful and happy. It is really nice. Had you told me this time last year that I'd feel this way today I'd have never believed you. It is amazing how God gets you on your path.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I felt such relief when my divorce was finalized. No longer did I have to face him everyday. No longer did I have to hear his voice or take his crap. Well, boy was I mistaken. When we were married I paid his bills from our joint account. Most married couples do that any ways, right? Well especially when only one of the two works. I have since taken him off that account and use it only for bills. Bryan logged on to transfer this months bill money over to pay them and he calls me to let me know that the account is over drawn. I JUST had $800.00 deposited into that account the day before. I had not paid but one small bill. I had him read me the recent transactions. $506.82 for a bill that was Fernando's. My name was never even on the account. I have been going around and around between my bank and the company he owed since Friday. Thankfully, our divorce decree includes a statement regarding me not being responsible for his debts because without that court order I could have been held liable because I had paid the company before using my debit card. I had to cancel my current card and order a new one. I had to file a dispute with both the bank and the company and now I wait. Meanwhile, Talise told her father that Bryan and I are engaged. He didn't handle it well. He was supposed to keep the kids this weekend. He called me five minutes before he was due to meet me and tells me he's not doing me any favors. He will not get his kids. Well when I crank the car back up Talise asks me where we are going and I tell her home. She starts freaking out, Mylie starts screaming and crying. I explained that he said he can't get them. She wanted to call, so I let her. He tells her he is on his way and asks to speak to me. Immediately he starts name calling and yelling at me. I will never change, I am fucking crazy, why would I tell her that? did say you weren't going to get them. His response is you damn right I'm not. OK, fine, what ever. I am SO over this. My kids deserve better and I am doing him a favor by letting him see them. He was given NO visitation at all. He's not even supposed to be in the car alone with them. I am so torn. I know they love him, well, at least the girls do. I know they want to see him. I don't feel it's fair for him to keep hurting them trying to hurt me. I cannot wrap my brain around his thought process. If I didn't get to see my kids every day I'd be counting the days until I could. They drive me nuts, usually with an hour or two of waking but I absolutely cannot imagine not seeing them, holding and kissing them every single day. I call home a dozen times at least every weekend when I'm working to see how they are and speak to them. How can he go from staying home everyday with them to seeing them once a month and not be bothered by that? So, I've decided to follow my divorce decree and stop visitations. I feel that it is in their best interest. The little ones will end up viewing Bryan as their father anyways. Talise has already expressed her dislike for her father's behaviors. She's bummed about it, but seems to understand. I feel haunted by my choice though. I feel like I am hurting them either way. I don't want to be the bad guy for trying to protect them. Yet, I don't want to continue to watch them cry because of him failing them either. All of this completely sucks.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The proposal

My ring is finally ready! I have longer to see it. I wore a $40.00 piece of glass on my finger for 14 years. The idea of a real diamond, that you can really see is something I never thought I'd have. I've also always wanted a real proposal. Nothing over the top, just heartfelt. Well, as much as I adore Bryan, he is very serious and dry about things. Out of worry of doing it wrong, he actually asked me how I wanted him to do it! I just said to please not ask. Well, I should have answered because we were sitting on the sofa and he looks at me and just asks, the same way he'd ask what's for dinner or what are we watching! I was SO upset! I am an emotional person anyway, and I've expressed how important the proposal is to me and that's all he's got? I cried. Cannot help it. Well, later that night after the kids were in the bed we were talking about it. I of course was crying again and he was telling me how much I mean to him, how much my kids mean to him and before I knew it he was kneeling beside me. He told me how much he loves me and my kids and how he wants us to always be with him. Then he asked me. I looked at the box because I haven't seen the finished product, just the designers image. He tells me he isn't opening the box until I give him an answer. I told him he's not getting an answer until he opens the box! (stubborn I know) When he opened it I completely lost it. I don't even remember if he put it on my finger or me. I don't remember if I even said yes. It is SO beautiful. So much better than I thought it would be. If it equates how much he loves me then I am one extremely blessed woman. I was crying so hard he kept asking me if I was OK. It took a good five minutes or more before I could even respond. I am crying now trying to type it out. Seeing my gorgeous ring makes me feel loved and worthy. I truly felt that I wouldn't ever be with someone decent. I don't know why, but I guess after years of hearing how everything about you is wrong when someone tries to show you how right you are for them it is so overwhelming. Whats so silly is, we already had decided we are going to get married. It's not like it was a surprise, but man. I have never had such an extreme response to something like that. The only other times I've felt overcome like that are when I had my babies and when my grandmother and aunt died. I always thought it was a put on when women got all emotional and cried while saying yes. I was mistaken! I was a big blubbering mess! I am so completely, utterly happy. Completely head over heals in love with this man. Now we just have to set a date!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Exhausted and elated

I swear, nothing prepares you for the overwhelming exhaustion that comes with being a single parent. Heck a parent at all really. Even though they are mine, when Bryan comes home things calm down so much. I start counting down around 3:00 p.m. for him to be home at 6:00! Today he has overtime. He usually goes in early most mornings. Today and tomorrow he has mandatory overtime until later this evening. I'm telling ya, at this rate me and ol' Jose Cuervo are gonna be thick as theives by the time my man gets home! Just the constant motion of two little ones is enough to make my eye twitch, adding the fighting, screaming and crying and O.M.G! Then when Talise gets home from school Mylie bugs the tar outta her to go outside to play. Talise usually wants to relax a bit first so then the bickering and picking begins. Talise is very helpful with her brother though. I love my babies but I cannot wait for Mylie to start school, only 11 months and 2 days, but who's counting. Now to my elated part. My ring should be done by early next week. I am SO stoked about it. For fourteen years I wore a cubic zirconia (should've been my first clue) because that was all he could afford. We married at the court house and honeymooned in a cabin in Pigeon Fordge where the argueing began. I am very grateful and excited about the ring Bryan is having made for me. It's a custom design that we came up with together, so no one else will have my ring.  How cool is that? Well unless they see the designers picture on his website and requests it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Am I wrong

OK. Bryan feels like because I choose my ring that he shouldn't have to ask me to marry him. Am I mistaken? Just because I know what I want and am not afraid to go after it does that mean that he doesn't have to ask? Especially since he asked the other woman? Am I being irrational? Please let me know. I just don't want to be disappointed twice. Does that make me selfish?

Monday, September 26, 2011


Assumptions suck. They set you up for disaster, yet everyone does it. I do it and often regret it. No one knows what someone else is thinking regardless of how well we may think we know them, yet we assume based on prior behaviors. So not OK! People who you think have your best interests at heart can screw you in a heart beat without a second thought. And people that you think aren't worthy of your trust may bail you out or keep your dirty secret to the grave so who can you trust? Who can you love? Why assume? Human nature, I guess. I hate being wrong.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Insecurities Suck!

How stupid is this? My man prefers a bigger girl, not obese but pretty close. He told me this BEFORE I saw any pictures of his exes. I thought cool, I'm not slender by any means so we are cool. Then, I keep finding pictures of girls he dated. O.M.G! Then one that got away...huge! I'm talking pre-baby roll after roll. My entire cranium could fit in one of her boobs! SERIOUSLY! I SHOULD feel like Hell Yeah! I am fricking awesome compared to these girls. So completely NOT the case! Seeing the three different girls that I saw, makes me want to starve myself! I've been a bigger girl, hell I was a total fat ass! I know some people are into that but I cannot wrap my brain around it. I was disgusted by myself then. I am a total emotional eater and was completely miserable then. I refuse to get big again. Right now, I could stand to lose at least 25 lbs. I cannot stand to be seen naked while standing. Silly huh? Whats the difference in standing a laying? When you're lying down everything spreads out evenly. My guy tells me how pretty, sexy, beautiful I am daily. I should be pleased but honestly I feel like men will say just about anything to get a piece. What's even more fucked up? I am in tune to guys. I can tell when they are into me. I see them stare and pay attention to their word choices. Most men are unbelievably transparent. I've had men at work, patients, be puking then say how embarrassed they are and how lucky to have such a beautiful nurse! I'm not a nurse! Whatever! No way could I be. Nurses bust their tails and do some disgusting stuff! Not enough money in the world for some of the tasks and patients they are subjected too, but I digress. I don't understand insecurities. Why is it that regardless of the affirmations we receive, or logic and reasoning they over rule? It just isn't right! I am a guilty mom, always questioning myself. I worry non-stop about my job and when a doctor, nurse, tech, whatever asks me if I "see anything" even if I do I am SO reluctant to say anything out of insecurities. Relationships? I over compensate then feel like a total douche! Of course someone is going to think it is OK to wake me up at 6 in the morning to make a lunch that they were too lazy to make for them selves if I keep putting out there that I am less than you! So why? I know that I am not a stupid woman, so again, why? Fricking insecurities, they suck ass!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

My birthday

I had the best birthday I have ever had as an adult. It started Thursday. Talise wanted to go to WalMart to buy me something since she hasn't ever been able to buy me a gift before. In the past she always gave me something of hers that she really liked. She was really torn because she only had so much money and wanted to buy artificial nails for herself also. When I told her I'd buy the nails she went back and bought me something else! So she gave me two pairs of earrings. Obviously the little stinker doesn't hate me as much as she say she does. Then, that evening, Bryan's mom came over and brought Talise's and my gifts and also something for Mylie and Bronson so they wouldn't feel left out. That was so touching! Our gifts were beautiful. Then on my actual birthday Bryan arranged for my mother to come down and watch my kids so we could spend the day together. She got there early and brought me gifts!  He took me to breakfast, then to look at engagement rings! He decided to have one custom made. I am SO stoked! After that he took me shopping! Then we went to buy Talise's gift from him. We came home for a bit until it was time to drop the kids off with their father. Once we dropped them off he took me out to dinner. We had so much fun! The food was amazing, the drinks were good and we were in just the best mood. He told the bartender it was my birthday so they gave me a free shot of Patron! As I was enjoying that and talking to him I all of a sudden felt a weight on my head. A fricking sombrero! I took that thing off as fast as they put it on! Hello head lice! They sang to me, brought me out Sopapilla and took our picture together. They gave me a copy of the picture in a little paper frame that said Happy Birthday. The picture turned out really good. It was an awesome day.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Lack of Kahuna's vs Really big Kahuna's

So, of course my ex is behind on his payments. He is avoiding my calls and texts, yet will text me like a mad man when he wants to talk to one of the girls. So I leave him a voice mail since he isn't man enough to handle his responsibilities. His big bad brother calls me and starts rambling off a bunch of stuff that doesn't concern me. Fernando keeps walking off the job. He's out in the sun working with "the Mexicans" all day, he runs his mouth. Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! I couldn't care less. Praise God none of that is my concern any longer. So now what? Well BBB tells me HE is going to pay my ex's child support because my ex is so worried about paying it. OK, and? He says he'll catch up this month then pay a month at a time. Perfect! That is what I had wanted from the beginning. Then BBB has the nerve to tell me that I will give him my address and his wife can mail me a check once a month. Nope! Not giving out my address. BBB tries to intimidate me! He's not stupid like his brother. It is illegal to keep my children's address from a man that pays child support. WRONG! Read my ex's copy of the divorce papers. I have FULL custody and am waived of the law that states I have to let him know where I live. I don't even have to give him my phone number. Heck, I don't have to let him see his kids at all. he has NO visitation rights. I let him see them because they love him and until they realize what a sorry loser he is then they should be able to spend time with him, supervised. BBB said he was having his wife call my ex's attorney then. Well while you're at it big boy, the child support reduction still hasn't been signed by the judge so technically he owes the original amount. Go make your calls then tell me whether I should file for non payment or where you'd like to meet me to pick up the payment. BBB is used to having his tail kissed and being the oldest sibling everyone cowers, well guess what? Not this one! Sorry BBB, you have NO say in this matter so suck it!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Things are still going amazingly well at home. Talise already has a new best friend and made friends with the girl next door. Bryan's best friend has a daughter Mylie's age. They came over yesterday and her and Mylie hit it off well. Both girls had their own playmates yesterday. I am a bit jealous that I was working and unable to see it. Something else that I wish I could have seen, Bronson climbed on Bryan's lap and they watch Little League baseball together. When he told me about it I almost started crying. Bronson would not have gotten that from his sperm donor, so that alone makes me weepy. Also, that means that they are bonding which has worried me from the start seeing as how Bronson cannot talk or be reasoned with yet. Just envisioning my two favorite guys chilling out together makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Things are adjusting well. I continue to fall harder each day and truly feel its a mutual connection. Not to say everything is peachy and perfect, we are human and a normal couple. Still smoothing out kinks, especially since he's never had kids. He is funny about his things being touched or moved. Mylie is used to being in control of her daddy and doing what ever she pleases whether it's her things or not. I completely understand and respect his position, yet if she has just moved his remote or the water hose, something along those lines ~ dude! Shut your pie hole! It's fine! So I am being more diligent about keeping them occupied so they are less interested in his things and also explaining to him that my kids follow me where ever I go, so if you don't want something bothered put it up! That's the extent of our issues. Well besides normal relationship baggage and insecurities. Really, it's not even worth mentioning. His does SO much right and makes me so incredibly happy that mundane quirks can be overlooked. I cannot remember the last time I felt this way. Not just in love but to know that I am loved as well. To not be picked apart, ridiculed, insulted and taken advantaged of. He does none of those yet still has to answer for them. Hopefully I can let go of all the miserable crap from my marriage and move forward blissfully, trusting our love. For now I will just bask in the glow of my happiness and try to keep any crazy insecurities in check!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A nice surprise

Well Fuckhead continued to show his tail over the weekend. He called me at work wanting to get the kids since he was no longer busy. It was sort of too late seeing as how I was at work. I made him aware of the difference in Georgia laws compared to Alabama in regards to child support enforcement and visitation. Technically he has no visitation rights as it is, but the kids love him and until they realise who he really is I think they should see him. I am no longer tolerating his crap though. I informed him that unless he pays child support then he will not have any contact with his children. He was not at all happy about that. He was even willing to take "the baby" if he could see his girls. REALLY? How absurd! That comment alone is enough to make me want to slap him, although I never would, just envision it with a smile. So Monday afternoon out of the blue I receive a text asking for my address, umm...I don't think so. He wants to send me child support. I told him I'd be happy to meet him somewhere to pick it up. He actually showed and paid me! I was shocked. Bryan was with me so Fuckhead did not show his ass either. It was nice. He has not called still to speak to his kids or asked about seeing them. They have asked multiple times every day. It sucks.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I'm beginning to understand hatred

I never thought I would. I am one to try to say dislike or unhappy with or anything else besides hate. My ex is pulling me towards the latter. Since he is unemployed again the kids have been wanting to see him on the weekends. Mylie, his self proclaimed favorite, got to spend all day Tuesday with him. Talise wanted a day with him also. She never got one so she asked to be taken to stay with him as soon as she got out of school today. I spoke with him yesterday and went over the plans for today and he agreed. Well, a few minutes before Talise got home I called him with no answer. I called again. This time he asks why I am calling and when I remind him he says no. Then when I say that the kids, Talise especially, was going to be disappointed he said well are you bringing them all? I said yeah. His response was even the baby? Then he says nope. He can't handle the I can keep them. When I tell him that I thought he could at least keep them while he's not working or paying child ssupport so I don't have to pay a sitter. Also, once he gets a job who knows how long he"ll be out without seeing them. He tells me to go fuck myself and hangs up on me. Now, I am left with an extremely hurt 10 year old, a crying, unable to understand 3 year old and my sweet baby boy. I do not understand why he doesn't care about. He's told me before that he feels nothing for him. I cannot wrap my mind around a parent not wanting to see their kids. My babies are difficult, demanding, and sarcastic. They drive me insane most often by 9 a.m. There is still no way in hell that I would NOT want to see them The idea of going a month at a time without hearing their sweet little voices and breathing in their smell is completely unimaginable. My heart aches for them. Especially Bronson. He is such an amazing little guy and for Fuckhead to not even care to get to know him. He's only kept him maybe 4 times. I know Bronson is better off, yet I cannot help but cry. I cry for him and my girls. Talise is able to understand and take it personally. Mylie is still too small to get it. She's just hurt and confused and has cried off and on all day for her father. I cry because how can he just toss them aside like trash? We worked hard to get them here. None of my babies were surprises. We went through fertility treatments to get pregnant. After being blessed three times how can you just walk away? I hope to never understand. I can say, my mind is beginning to really comprehend hate on an entirely new level. I'm not at all happy with that.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Some things never change

We have officially moved on. It feels great. I wake every morning next to someone I love. Someone that loves me, and makes it known daily. My kids are adjusting well. Mylie is the only one testing the waters any, but that is just Mylie. I keep reminding myself that her strong will should serve her well as an adult. She says she loves Bryan. Talise refuses to admit that she likes him. I think she feels that it would be disloyal to her father to admit that she does. Her face lights up when she speaks of things her and Bryan do together. He seems to be making a significant effort to bond with both Talise and Mylie. Bronson is usually finishing dinner and getting bathed and ready for bed when Bryan gets home. The one time he was alone with the kids for a couple of hours Talise said he was doing baby talk with Bronson and trying to cuddle him, Bronson just wasn't having it. He's my sweet boy. Bronson is super close to me, and even closer to Talise. I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy because of it. He'll let his sister hold and love on him way more than he will me. Oh well, such is life. Back to moving on, Talise is officially registered at her new school. She starts Monday and we went yesterday to meet her teacher. The teacher seems fun, we shall see. Talise is a bit nervous, but I know she'll do wonderful. She always makes friends quickly. Bryan and I have been trying to merge our things. My goodness is it difficult. I have 14 years and three kids worth of stuff and he is just an emotional guy. He places sentimental value on so much. He has a hard time letting things go. I have a difficult time with clutter, nick knacks and collections. Seeing that stuff makes me feel anxious. I like everything to have a place, neatly. He has stacks of papers all over. I bet their is a stack in every room. I am dying to go through and toss stuff, or just combine it all. He's asked me to please not. I am desperately trying to be patient. I received a call from Fernando the other day to tell me that he lost his job, yet again. The only reason he called was because he doesn't want me to report him for non-payment. He went on to say there are no jobs. I called his bluff and texted him several jobs in his field from I told him to file for unemployment and as long as he pays something I won't turn him in. That man had the nerve to say that unemployment doesn't pay much! I reminded him that diapers are less expensive than a carton of cigarettes, if he can buy those he can pay for diapers, wipes and pull-ups! He goes on to tell me that he can't pay child support from jail. My response, he also can't enjoy the freedoms of life. Funny how self centered people remain that way even when they have those sweet little faces to provide for. I will never understand that mentality. I count my blessings everyday for meeting Bryan. He is such a different man than my ex. He has faults as we all do, but they are so bearable that they aren't worth mentioning. I am truly enjoying being domestic again. Not that I didn't feed my kids, or clean my house before moving in,  but having someone kiss me by and welcome me home from work. Having someone thank me for having dinner waiting on them, getting appreciation feels amazing. My kids expect it, he's never had it since living on his own that I am aware of. I am happy. It feels great.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Myths or Lies?

I love the holidays. I go all out for my kids. Especially Talise, aka Emma. She was my only for 7 long years so my ex and I went to extremes, mostly for Christmas. I've gotten co-workers to write letters from Santa to her. I've dipped the soles of my exes work boots in flour to leave snowy foot prints across my floor from the fireplace to the tree (she was 4) I've sent video messages to her. I've done the I caught Santa photo's. I've even participated in the whole elf crap, not my favorite. The point is I wanted her to be as child like as possible for as long as possible. I wanted the holidays to be magical and exciting. They were. She's always loved Christmas and has believed in Santa as hard as she could...until now. She went to camp. Several girls told her that they caught their parents and that Santa wasn't real, but she could believe what she wanted. She asked. It wasn't the first time either. She's almost eleven, so I broke down and told her the truth. Oh My Goodness! She flipped! Why would I lie to her? Is the Easter Bunny real? What about her elf? So all that was me? Question after question I calmly answered and explained. I told her that when she has children of her own and she sees their little eyes light up with excitement about it all she'll understand. I sure hope she does. She has been going through this everyone hates me stage. I explained that I did those things out of love for her. Otherwise, why would I go through all the trouble? Believe me, some nights were miserable trying to set things up, remember to toss cookies, or crackers for the elf and move his spot. Especially the last two years between working over night and being a single parent it was not easy, but well worth it. Ive warned her not to spoil it for her sister and brother. She better keep her trap shut! She was quite upset about all the lies though. Trying to make her understand that love was behind them was not as convincing for her as I would have liked. Once she found out that she'll still get gifts she was much better about the situation though, that's my girl!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I am amazed at just how many brats their are in this world. Not just children and teens, those are to be expected.  Adults! Grown people having tantrums to get their way. And grown brats know no economic status. Poor, rich and middle class all have them. It simply blows my mind. I was raised that when you know better you do better. For brats I guess its what ever works for their world to follow as they see fit. I, as an adult, would not behave like a toddler, yelling names, throwing things and threatening to hit. A lot of so called adults do. These people have been catered to for so long I really feel that they know no other way. Its sad really. Or if they do know better and choose to act a fool, well I find that sad also. Something else that I find unbelievable is that the people close to these brats excuse their behavior! It's just how they are! Bullshit! I refuse to tolerate, or deal with behavior like that from an adult. If you don't put your foot down regardless of how hard it is for you to do they will never see how selfish, inappropriate, and disrespectful they are being. I will not stand for it. So to all these brats, stay out of my way!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

1st Hair Cut (lots of pictures)

It's time my sweet little fella starts looking like a boy. He can be in all blue and still people will comment on what a pretty girl he is. So we cut off his curls.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

So much to do

We are moving, again. Hopefully this will be the last time. I still ave about a month and a half to get everything packed but ugh! I've never had to do it alone. I'm excited though. I'll be back in the Newnan area so I wont have to drive for miles to get to anything. I'm a little bummed tat most likely Mylie wont be able to go to preschool though. She was stoked about it. I'm gonna try though. My guy asked me to move in with him. I am a little nervous as I have only lived with one other guy, Fuckhead. I am SO excited to be able to wake up next to him everyday. Ive been falling fast and hard. Sigh

Monday, June 20, 2011

Just when u think it cant get worse

My mood is horrible. I don't understand why I have to keep explaining the same thing over and over.  What is so difficult about decency and respect? Why is that so hard to understand for some people? Is the entire do unto others thing lost? I feel like ramming my head into the wall out of pure frustration. I really dislike having to explain my feelings. I dislike even more when they are disputed or discredited like I am a fool for feeling the way I do. I hate having to be so vague on here but out of DECENCY and RESPECT I will be. I try so hard to be calm and keep going. I try to keep my chin up and over look things. It seems they are starting to build and build and its a bit overwhelming. I am at my breaking point. I have an extreme dislike for this feeling. It's a sort of scream, cry, pull out hair combination. Its to a point that I am getting frustrated with everyone. Well, that's not entirely true. My patience is much smaller though. It feels a bit better getting it out like this though. Crazy! That is how I feel, and probably how I'm being perceived at the moment. The thing about crazy is, crazy doesn't care. I care immensely, which is why I am on this vicious circle to begin with. Gosh people sure can suck.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Party details

A little back story first. For Talise we had big birthday bashes. Her first birthday we had SO many people over some were sitting on the floor. We did pottery parties, rented movie theaters, bowling parties, inflatable playhouse thingies, she remembers none of them! For Mylie's first birthday I only invited a couple of people and did finger foods and such and she slept through most of it. I decided for Bronson I'd basically treat it like any other day with a few little exceptions. I took him out to an early dinner as he goes to bed @ 6:30. He got his first kids meal, hot dog a french fries.  he ate it like a boss! Seeing as how he's only got 4 teeth, buddy can eat! He had fun but started getting sleepy. We left and went to pick up his cake and birthday balloon. My mom promptly dropped his cake s she was getting in the car. I could have cried, but didn't. It wasn't too bad, but I bought a replacement anyway. We gt home and let him open his gift. He got crazy mad and had a fit because I took away an ink pen that he was far more interested in than his gift. Once he realised their was more than paper in the bag he was down to party! He loved his activity cube. he did NOT love getting stripped down for cake, another small fit. Once he realised he could go wild with the cake it was on. He kicked that cakes tail something fierce! When he could no longer pull off pieces to eat he leaned in with his face like a dog to eat it! He finished nearly the entire thing. I was sure he was gonna puke. He never did. He DID stay up 2.5 hours past his bedtime though! He was up crawling around and bouncing. He was a happy boy. It was a great day! Too bad he won't remember it.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


This time last year I was packing my bag to be induced. After trying to bust out early,Bronson decided if he couldn't come when he wanted to then he'd stay forever. I was a nervous wreck. My ex was still over the road and I was completely freaking out that he wouldn't get home in time. My first son! I could not wrap my brain around having a boy. Now, I cannot imagine NOT having my amazing son. This past year has unfairly flown by. Time passes quickly enough as it is, with all that has happened this year I cannot remember half of it.  Fortunately I was able to pour all of my love into that sweet boy. He's such a fun, cuddly little guy. He listens pretty well so far. He's getting quite brave as well. He stands without holding on, and today he dropped a piece of chicken on the floor and slowly bent over to pick it up and stood back p without falling over. I was so proud of him. When I applaud his efforts he grins so big! He loves it when I call him a big boy. His smile brightens his whole face. Ive been so blessed.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Me? Too nice?

I really don't think so. That is what I am being told though, in regards to my ex. I didn't get child support again this week. After several phone calls I found out that my ex is responsible for me getting the money regardless of if his wages are garnished or not. After calmly and respectfully speaking to him about it he agreed to pay the two weeks he owes. That was Friday, now I wait. We have court again on Thursday and Bronson turns one on Friday. Just typing that out makes me want to cry. I have been SO emotional lately. Very sensitive, mostly towards Bryan. I feel really lucky to have met him. I love him. I try to not create issues, but I almost feel like that is what I am doing. I will sit and think about something and it will eat at me. I will go back and forth as to whether to mention it or not. On the one hand, I refuse to tolerate anything displeasing to me anymore from a man. On the other hand ANYTHING I have ever gotten the least bit upset about, which isn't much, he has been so quick to try to make it better. He loves me. He demonstrates love every time he's around me. Heck, even his texts show love. He's a good man. He's close to his family which I love. Maybe it's feeling like this so soon after living in hell is why I am being so emotional. I just hope I don't sabotage this.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I have been in a funk. It seems to be one thing after the other. I previously wrote about Fuckhead taking me back to court to try to have the divorce set aside. Then, last Thursday, a parent at Talise's school not only was cropping her out of pictures of Field Day that she planned to put on a disk to sell, but she threatened to hit my child. A grown woman! Why, you ask? Because Talise is friends with a little girl that used to be friends with her daughter, but is no longer. Talk about crazy. Needless to say I filed a police report after speaking to the principal, whose only concern was how it would look on the school!. I also contacted the Board of Education and filled them in so no disks will be sold. My finances have be crap. I accidentally paid my kids premium twice. It's getting worked out, but is a long sucky process. My mom and I had a disagreement because of something Talise said. It's silly and over with, but it was not fun while it was going on. I've even felt a bit ambivalent towards my guy, for absolutely NO reason at all. He's amazing, sweet, fun and kind to me. I was feeling quite irritable earlier and he sent me a simple text..that's all it took. My mood completely changed. All the warm fuzzies came rushing back in full force and i realised this is real. Things happen and sometimes it feels crappy but it passes and knowing I have someone that cares enough about me to go completely out of his way without any complaint ~ wow! I am a lucky girl!

Monday, May 16, 2011


SO after only two,yes TWO, child support payments  ~ this week none. I called him, the state,the clerks office and finally his job. He was completely useless,which I expected really. The state just said no payment has been made. The clerks office told me that his attorney filed a motion to set aside the divorce on Friday! over a month later he is still trying to stop the divorce. UNBELIEVABLE!!! I called my attorney to see about this motion and apparently we will be back in court on June 9th. His attorney requested a change in the amount of support. Mine requested stubs for proof of income, his would not provide any. He's going to fight for custody or unsupervised visitation, I just know it. I had to contact Coweta DFCS to get a certified copy of his substantiated child abuse charge. His job said he didn't turn in his trip tickets so he didn't get paid. I knew he'd do that! I've told others he'd do that to keep me from getting a check weekly. I hate fighting dirty. I don't understand why he's doing this. I take that back. I know why, Bryan. Fernando is behaving like a little boy over jealousy. He actually told me that my new boyfriend could take care of our kids! What a man! After a few threats, name calling and throwing in the C word just because he's a douche I had to go report him for non payment. Then I headed over to the sheriff's office to file a report for harassment. Tomorrow I will go get a warrant. The gloves are off beotch! Bring it!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


As many of my friends know, my mom watches my children on the weekends when I work. I love my mother. I really don't know what I would have done without her help, especially right after I had Bronson. She drives a long way down and stays from Friday until Sunday night. When I get home from work, around 11:30 at night she is already in her van, bags packed and engine cranked to go home. Any time I am able to get off of work she stays home or leaves early. I completely understand. She's older and three little ones can be a bit much. So, when I requested off for Mothers Day and got the day off I told her. She was happy. She said she would be going home Saturday. Well, my supervisor was having problems getting first shift covered and since I wanted another day off I volunteered to come in for that 1st shift. It worked out for me and I told my mom. She was still happy that she got to leave early even if she had to stay Saturday night. Well then today happened. My daughter tells me that my mom was upset that I am going to my guys mom's on Mothers Day. At first because she thought I was asking her to watch the kids while I went. Then when she found out his mom invited my kids as well she just got upset. So me being me, I called her out on it. She was actually gonna try to the whole water works thing!  I reminded her how she couldn't wait to take her tail home. She tried to say that I know that she has no memory and that I should have reminded her. I mentioned it about 4 times in total. She tried to guilt trip me too! Saying that if she means that little to me go to his moms house and have fun. I told her that, although she means the world to me, I'd given her ample opportunity before I accepted the invite to do something between us. She kept saying she wanted to go home. I told her I love her, but I am not canceling my plans. She's not happy. I am a bit annoyed at her little game.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Oh My Gosh! I've always heard about crazy clingy women but not guys. I have been terribly mistaken. This dating thing has blown me away! My self confidence has escalated which is great but my forwardness has had to as well. I have had men send my completely unprovoked images of their erections because you know that always convinces a girl to have casual sex ~ psh! I have had guys that I have only met once and not gone anywhere with get all controlling and freak out on me when they find out I am speaking to more than one guy. Why is it completely acceptable for a date? I mean isn't that the meaning of dating? Seeing different people to find out who's out there worthy of you? I've had three guys ask me to move in with them to help them with their bills! Yes, that really happened with three unrelated people. I've been invited to meet up for couples sex. DO I really put out that kinda vibe? Total mistake if that is the case. I am not at all into that sort of thing. Plus their is fuckhead to deal with. It has been extremely interesting. Not all bad though. I have met a few potentials, just waiting to see what works out!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Bangs head on the wall

I've been in love more than once. I've had my heart broken more than I'd care to remember. I know how it feels to desperately want things back to where they felt good to me. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why Fernando will not move on. While we were married he spoke incessantly about how he could not wait to be rid of me. Now that he is he will not leave me alone. What really gets to me is that he leads in with something about the kids and it always ends with me having to say it's never going to happen...ever! I have actually had to threaten to contact the sheriff's office about him harassing me. Even with that he just HAS to text back a few more times. I swear! I have been completely honest with him. I have broken it down the best I know how. I am at a loss. He's even tried to convince me by saying that he'll stay gone on the road all the time.We don't have to talk, we can just text each other even when in the same room. I can have his paycheck (psh! if he keeps one). Who would want that? That is not a relationship.  The ink is barely dry on our divorce papers, which I carry with me as they make me smile ;). Why would I even consider him? His famous words are: forget the past.Yeah, that is possible. Maybe if the kids and I hadn't been through all that we have because of him that would be possible. unfortunately that is not the case. Any advise to get rid of this craziness is welcomed!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


So, this whole three year old business is not my favorite so far. I swear my girl is much more tantrum prone than ever. The only upside to this age is she understands consequences, she just doesn't care. She has a great vocabulary and pronounces words well, so when she freaks out the general public is well informed of her unhappiness. Example: I had to bring my babes with me to my job so I could fax some paperwork. She had fallen asleep in the car on the way there so was less than pleased about going inside. She followed me around, barking orders and refusing to behave. As we were leaving she wanted a mint. When I told her no due to her behavior she screamed out IDIOT! I was mortified. Her older sister was also spoken to regarding the incident because she is who Mylie learned the word from. Usually if Mylie isn't acting a fool out in public then I embarrass myself by looking all wild eyed and crazy from the stress of it all. I keep telling myself, it's a stage, it'll pass and her strong will will serve her well as an adult ~ hopefully!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Just wicked

I have been in such a feisty, fun, wicked mood since speaking with the clerks office last Friday. Work was awesome, even though one of my favorite people left. I have been more outspoken, sarcastic, and just happy. Such a relief! What an incredible burden  has been lifted, and boy can I feel it. I feel like my old self. The person I was before I met my ex. The person I was becoming. My confidence has grown tremendously. I am loving life. Is it weird that I carry a copy of my divorce papers with me. They boost my mood.  Freedom. Now that I will be getting some child support I can use MY money to join a gym, buy new boobs, and enjoy life. I may have to get some Retin A to fight smile lines now!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

At a loss

I am completely dumbfounded. It's like a switch has been flipped in my Myliebel. I have NO idea what happened to her. She has been unbelievably mean and tantrum prone. She behaved so badly at her three year old well check today, that not only do I not remember any of her measurements,the nurse offered to watch Bronson while I took her to the potty for a spank. I was humiliated. I had company over and she went ballistic. She screamed like a nut regardless of what I did and only shut up if I sat beside her on the chair. If I even attempted to speak to my friend she would start up again. Again, humiliated. I have no idea what to do with her. The pediatrician suggested time outs.  I mentioned that to my friend during Mylie's fit. They just laughed. Yeah, that'll work!  I've taken things away.Tried ignoring bad behaviors and praising good ones, time outs, standing in the corner, spanking, and so far nothing works. Girls got some major stamina too. She'll repeat momma over and over while I am holding her and staring straight at her face. Unless I say what Mylie she just keeps repeating. SO annoying. I miss my sweet girl. This new attitude does not thrill me.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I want to be nice...

I really do. Nice with Fernando for our children. Now, neither of us are mean to each other in front or around them. We don't even discuss difficult things around them. All of  this is enough on our babies. However, any kindness I show towards him he mistakes for my wanting him back. That is absolutely NOT the case. I let him come to Mylie's party. He then wanted to have dinner together, um...NO!  He later texts me how much he wanted to hug me. Sorry, not gonna happen anytime soon buddy. When is it going to sink in? The funny thing is, he blames me! He swears I kicked him out. I should have, five months into our marriage I should have. I'm glad I didn't because I have three amazing blessings because of my tolerance and patience.  After Mylie's party he wanted to discuss what he wants out of the divorce. He actually thinks that I should have to pay half of his debt. He's upset that I filed bankruptcy and he hasn't. Even though if he kept a job we wouldn't have had debt to file on. He doesn't consider all the tickets and fines I've paid for him. He ignores the fact that I paid his way through school, or all the times I went to DFACS to apply for assistance. I've had to call churches, salvation army, Community Action for Improvement, friends and family for financial help. He just wouldn't keep a job because he knew that I would bust my tail for my kids. You know, the reason I went to radiology school was just so I could divorce him and still provide for Talise. I didn't see at the time that I could have survived any ways. I am grateful for my survival skills because of him. I now know that I can and will make it. I've got what it takes. I am not a fan of the resentment I feel towards him. When he looked at me and said that I should pay half of his bills I almost came unglued. I had to take a deep breath and remind him of what all he's put me and our kids through. He wants normal visitation. He has no one to supervise him with the kids. The kids really miss him and want to visit with him. I would love for them to have normal visitation, I am just worried that if that happens what if he sleeps rather than watch them? What if he looses his temper as he's been known to do? He says he's been taking his medication which comforts me. I am torn. He wants me to talk to my attorney about it. I just don't know.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Leaps and Bounds

Yesterday my sweet little doodle bug turned three. Unbelievable. Also unbelievable is her new personality. Little Miss Doodles isn't so sweet anymore. She has mastered the stink eye and has no problems giving you a what for.  Thankfully, between rants and demands she is still quite sweet. She demonstrated her attitude during her party a bit. She had a great time though. She loved getting to have friends over to help celebrate. she looked adorable in her birthday outfit, and I think she knew it! She LOVES her presents. I am so happy she had a great birthday.
        My sweet little fella amazes me everyday. He has gone from either sitting or rolling where ever to army crawling like a mad man. He can go from sitting to crawling and back.  He's figured out how to open the baby wipe container and the other day I went to get him out of his crib and he had taken off his diaper! Thankfully, it was just urine. He LOVES trucks and trains. He shows a preference for red. He also loves his gloworm and his sister's babies. He actually acts gentle with Mylie's dolls. He'll look sweetly at his gloworm then hug it. Such a sweet little guy.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Randomness...if that's even a word

Lately I have felt great. Even when the kids are showing their tail ~ still blissful. I haven't felt this way in so long I cannot remember. I ended up having to go get a loan yesterday so I could pay the kids insurance premium since someone else refused to. Even though I was disappointed about having to do that as I was driving home I felt such happiness. I don't have to go home to misery any longer. Now I can just ignore the call or hang up! What a huge burden has been lifted. I have so much fun at work now. I am able to let go and be me, who I was before. I no longer have to worry about what my children are dealing with at home. If their caregiver is awake, if they have been fed. I was so worried about being alone that I tolerated so much. Now I cannot understand what I was worried about. I pray this feeling lasts. I am a much better mother, daughter,sister, and friend feeling this way. Ah!

Friday, March 18, 2011's getting real old

So, apparently since my ex had our divorce moved to a different county the judge rotates through and won't be back until the first week of April to sign off on the papers. Technically, we are still married. Since Fernando knows this he hired ANOTHER attorney to try to get the divorce set aside. Why? CHILD SUPPORT!!! He feels like because I can provide that he shouldn't have to, except maybe $150.00 here and there. I can't even speak to the man without getting a headache. I have been going round and round with him about the children's insurance premium that needs to be paid. I am only asking for half and offered to give him their account numbers and the telephone number and he can pay it himself. NOPE! He thinks if he waits until he comes to town and sees the kids THEN he will give it to me. Trying to bribe me. Also, he gave away his vehicle! How is he supposed to take the kids anywhere or go buy them food. I know his family isn't going to want to haul them all around everywhere and I don't blame them. Not the brightest idea. Every time he calls or texts he HAS to call  me baby, honey or some other lovey term. It drives me insane and he knows it. The other night Talise was talking to him on the phone and I heard her say "Because she pays for everything, food, electricity, our know you are still our dad and you should buy us things too!"  I was proud of her. Later I asked her why she said that and it was because she asked for some summer clothes and he asked her why I couldn't buy them. I supported him for three years, the rest of our marriage he barely held a job and now this!
  More drama...Wednesday Talise didn't get off the school bus. Just as I was about to call the school because I was freaking out, Talise's friends mom called. She had Talise. Apparently Talise forged my signature on a note saying that she was to ride home with her friend. She told the schools secretary that I was at the dentist and no one would be home. So, even though her friends mom did not send a not they let her go with her friend anyways. NOT HAPPY. Talise didn't see what the big deal was. I called the school and explained what she had done. For now on I will write and sign all notes in a specific color ink AND call the school anytime Talise is to ride home differently. She is 10! TEN! I panic at the thought of her at 16. Her father thought it was funny. I'm still angry.

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Oh my goodness. I feel so terribly bad for these people. I cannot wrap my brain around it. I think because I am almost completely opposite. I don't hold on to much. If I don't use it I toss it. Not only can I not imagine keeping so much stuff but how in the world do they afford it. How do they even know what they have?  These places look like landfills!  What fear they must have to hold onto so many things just in case. What a tremendous burden. Seeing a lot of clutter makes me antsy.  Just having items sat on my mantel that doesn't belong there or my kids clothes left on the floor gets to me. Living amongst piles of things, boxes everywhere, just a narrow walking path from room to room is unimaginable to me. How do they rest? That would severely limit their social life I would assume. How can you invite guests over to that? Companionship is so important. Face time is important. Well, at least to me it is. I can't speak for everyone. I truly feel pity for hoarders.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Having Fun

I have been having such a good time enjoying life lately. Even this weekend past at work. We were incredibly busy but I still had a great time cutting up with my co-workers. I am amazingly blessed at work. Love it! I can not express that enough. Of course being mostly women we can have our moments but we are quick to talk it out and move on. So Blessed! I must admit I am a little disappointed that a member of our crew is moving on and up hopefully.Though I am happy that they have a new opportunity they will be missed as they bring so much light and playfulness to the group. I have taken the initiative to go ahead and try to recruit one of my favorites from another crew though. Keeping my fingers crossed. I've had fun since I've been home also. Me and the girls  (and handsome fella) have been riding with the windows down and the radio up singing and dancing as we ride. We played outside then came in to watch a television program together. It was a good day yesterday. So far today is going wonderfully. I have been really feeling Rihanna's music lately so Mylie, Bronson, and I have danced it out this morning! They laughed so much Mylie had to take a break to recover! I am a happy girl!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Looking forward

I feel as though a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A burden left behind. What a relief. Although it was a bit scary at first, I already feel like such a different mom. I was under so much stress I got so easily angered and yelled a lot. I don't now. I would be so tense that I ignored some behaviors that I should have corrected, now I don't. My girls seem happier, although they miss their father terribly. I truly do wish things could have worked out, but their was just too much negative for that to happen. So, now we move on.  I look forward to the future. I have come to realize just how many people care about me and it feels great. My relationship with my mother has improved vastly, that means the world to me. Things are going to be fine. Better than fine, wonderful. I look forward to letting life unravel.

Friday, March 4, 2011


 I saw this on one of the blogs I follow, The Bigger'sPicture, and I like the idea.
1. The phrase or punctuation I overuse most is "a bit" Nearly everything in quantity is a bit. Ex: in a bit, a bit of, just a bit.I should expand my vocabulary a bit!

2. Today I am thankful for my freedom in every sense of the word. It is an unbelievable feeling to be truly free.

3. My best friend is my mom. She is strong, protective and fun. She can be difficult at times, but who isn't? She is my #1 cheerleader and I cannot imagine my life without her. Our relationship has come a long way, and for that I am grateful.

4. A quirky thing about me is I cannot stand to have dirty feet. I don't like to get dirty in general, but dirty feet really irk me. Feet are ugly enough without adding to it and the feeling of funk on the bottom of my feet, eww. I worry about being in an accident and the rescue/ER folks having to remove my clothes and shoes. Not only would I have on clean underwear, but clean feet too!

5. This weekend I am hanging out with friends, while working! At least my co-workers are awesome. i love my job and really don't mind going in every weekend. Sometimes they seem to drag on forever, but at least I'm in the trenches with great people.

6. Something that worries me is my children's safety. My safety. My mom, her health. Finances. Losing my job, the list goes on. I know it is fruitless to worry, but I just cannot help it.

7. On my night stand you would find...the clothes I plan to wear the next day and Bronson's extra blankets. The nightstands are at the foot of the bed so Bronson's crib would beside the bed. I gotta have that sweet little fella close by. I couldn't sleep with him any farther away than he is now.

That's it! My Q&A or fill in the blanks, whatever you want to call it.  

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Fill in the Blank

1. I am currently obsessed with my steam mop! I love , love, love it! My socks stay white now! That pleases me so.

2. Today I am grateful  because, even though my mom hates the drive, and her live in makes it difficult on her, she is on her way down to watch my babies so I can go to court tomorrow. Hopefully all will be finalized. Prayers are welcomed.

3. The age I am is 33 and the age I feel is 27. I feel like an adult, but not a thirty-something adult. I feel like I am still finding my way in the world. I like where I'm at and where I seem to be going so all is well!

4. My favorite place is my bed. It is soft, I have heavy blankets so I can get all squishy feeling. So relaxing, especially when their aren't any kids in the bed with me.

5. Something I have been procrastinating is doing my continuing education. It is so boring and time consuming, but I need to get cracking. September will be here before we know it.

6. The last thing I purchased was birthday invitations. My sweet Myliebel turns three this month. We are having her first party with friends and she is excited.

7. The thing I love most about my home is it's where my babies are. It's filled with love and memories. It's cute and quiet and perfect for my little family.

Monday, February 28, 2011

A New Day

Things are looking up. I am calm and happy. I am so proud of my sweet babes. Talise has been nicer , more helpful and less sarcastic to her grandmother. That alone makes my life so much easier! I cannot wrap my brain around being disrespectful to one's grandparent, but Talise can be, and much too often for my liking. My mother is old school in her thinking so she gets really, really upset by any form of attitude coming her way. I completely understand that and agree with her. My hope is that Talise will get it together and stop all together, but she is going through a lot here lately and is handling it all wonderfully if you ask me.
     Mylie is doing SO good! She didn't get in any trouble all weekend! That is a first since Bronson has been born. She also slept in her bed all night both Saturday and Sunday nights, another first. I am so proud I almost bought her a gift for doing it. I didn't because really, she is supposed to anyway and she should feel pride in herself. Pride is gift enough. She is turning 3 in 27 days! Where has the time gone? She is my sweet little angel, I love her so! I registered her for preschool today! She gets to start in the fall. We are both excited about it. She can't wait to make her own friends. I can't wait for some alone time with Bronson.
    Speaking of Bronson, he will be one in three short months. That blows my mind. He can now say mama, dada, hi, and baba (bottle). He has two teeth and utilizes them for evil! He will bite the fire out of you! He hasn't bit me while nursing yet thank goodness. He is very rough and has been showing his temper here recently. He has also been fighting naps. When he gets overly tired and I am trying to hold him to give him a bottle he will slap at me and the bottle. He tries to claw me and arches his back while screaming at me. Once I get him held with his arms down at his sides and will succumb to sleep.That's really the only time he gets difficult. Otherwise he is a happy boy. He loves trucks and cars, preferably yellow ones it seems. He also adores his glow worm. He gets the sweetest expression when he sees it. He handles it gently too. My mom and I always say ah, sweet baby, in a loving tone when we give it to him. I want him to be kind and loving. He has a baby (it's yellow) that he loves too. He likes balloons and sitting in his diaper boxes.  He has been doing the pre-crawling sway non-stop. He really gets going then lays on his belly. I'm sure he will crawl sooner rather than later. He responds to all of his nicknames which are: Fella (from me), Bunky, Zippy, Zach, zip zaking zacha, and Taters ( all from my mom). He loves exploring things since he can roll around and he really enjoys being outdoors.
     What have I done to deserve all of this?  I've got a good job, wonderful family, supportive friends and amazing, wonderful, healthy, bright, happy children. Glory be to God for blessing me immensely!