Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Lack of Kahuna's vs Really big Kahuna's

So, of course my ex is behind on his payments. He is avoiding my calls and texts, yet will text me like a mad man when he wants to talk to one of the girls. So I leave him a voice mail since he isn't man enough to handle his responsibilities. His big bad brother calls me and starts rambling off a bunch of stuff that doesn't concern me. Fernando keeps walking off the job. He's out in the sun working with "the Mexicans" all day, he runs his mouth. Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! I couldn't care less. Praise God none of that is my concern any longer. So now what? Well BBB tells me HE is going to pay my ex's child support because my ex is so worried about paying it. OK, and? He says he'll catch up this month then pay a month at a time. Perfect! That is what I had wanted from the beginning. Then BBB has the nerve to tell me that I will give him my address and his wife can mail me a check once a month. Nope! Not giving out my address. BBB tries to intimidate me! He's not stupid like his brother. It is illegal to keep my children's address from a man that pays child support. WRONG! Read my ex's copy of the divorce papers. I have FULL custody and am waived of the law that states I have to let him know where I live. I don't even have to give him my phone number. Heck, I don't have to let him see his kids at all. he has NO visitation rights. I let him see them because they love him and until they realize what a sorry loser he is then they should be able to spend time with him, supervised. BBB said he was having his wife call my ex's attorney then. Well while you're at it big boy, the child support reduction still hasn't been signed by the judge so technically he owes the original amount. Go make your calls then tell me whether I should file for non payment or where you'd like to meet me to pick up the payment. BBB is used to having his tail kissed and being the oldest sibling everyone cowers, well guess what? Not this one! Sorry BBB, you have NO say in this matter so suck it!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Things are still going amazingly well at home. Talise already has a new best friend and made friends with the girl next door. Bryan's best friend has a daughter Mylie's age. They came over yesterday and her and Mylie hit it off well. Both girls had their own playmates yesterday. I am a bit jealous that I was working and unable to see it. Something else that I wish I could have seen, Bronson climbed on Bryan's lap and they watch Little League baseball together. When he told me about it I almost started crying. Bronson would not have gotten that from his sperm donor, so that alone makes me weepy. Also, that means that they are bonding which has worried me from the start seeing as how Bronson cannot talk or be reasoned with yet. Just envisioning my two favorite guys chilling out together makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Things are adjusting well. I continue to fall harder each day and truly feel its a mutual connection. Not to say everything is peachy and perfect, we are human and a normal couple. Still smoothing out kinks, especially since he's never had kids. He is funny about his things being touched or moved. Mylie is used to being in control of her daddy and doing what ever she pleases whether it's her things or not. I completely understand and respect his position, yet if she has just moved his remote or the water hose, something along those lines ~ dude! Shut your pie hole! It's fine! So I am being more diligent about keeping them occupied so they are less interested in his things and also explaining to him that my kids follow me where ever I go, so if you don't want something bothered put it up! That's the extent of our issues. Well besides normal relationship baggage and insecurities. Really, it's not even worth mentioning. His does SO much right and makes me so incredibly happy that mundane quirks can be overlooked. I cannot remember the last time I felt this way. Not just in love but to know that I am loved as well. To not be picked apart, ridiculed, insulted and taken advantaged of. He does none of those yet still has to answer for them. Hopefully I can let go of all the miserable crap from my marriage and move forward blissfully, trusting our love. For now I will just bask in the glow of my happiness and try to keep any crazy insecurities in check!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A nice surprise

Well Fuckhead continued to show his tail over the weekend. He called me at work wanting to get the kids since he was no longer busy. It was sort of too late seeing as how I was at work. I made him aware of the difference in Georgia laws compared to Alabama in regards to child support enforcement and visitation. Technically he has no visitation rights as it is, but the kids love him and until they realise who he really is I think they should see him. I am no longer tolerating his crap though. I informed him that unless he pays child support then he will not have any contact with his children. He was not at all happy about that. He was even willing to take "the baby" if he could see his girls. REALLY? How absurd! That comment alone is enough to make me want to slap him, although I never would, just envision it with a smile. So Monday afternoon out of the blue I receive a text asking for my address, umm...I don't think so. He wants to send me child support. I told him I'd be happy to meet him somewhere to pick it up. He actually showed and paid me! I was shocked. Bryan was with me so Fuckhead did not show his ass either. It was nice. He has not called still to speak to his kids or asked about seeing them. They have asked multiple times every day. It sucks.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I'm beginning to understand hatred

I never thought I would. I am one to try to say dislike or unhappy with or anything else besides hate. My ex is pulling me towards the latter. Since he is unemployed again the kids have been wanting to see him on the weekends. Mylie, his self proclaimed favorite, got to spend all day Tuesday with him. Talise wanted a day with him also. She never got one so she asked to be taken to stay with him as soon as she got out of school today. I spoke with him yesterday and went over the plans for today and he agreed. Well, a few minutes before Talise got home I called him with no answer. I called again. This time he asks why I am calling and when I remind him he says no. Then when I say that the kids, Talise especially, was going to be disappointed he said well are you bringing them all? I said yeah. His response was even the baby? Then he says nope. He can't handle the I can keep them. When I tell him that I thought he could at least keep them while he's not working or paying child ssupport so I don't have to pay a sitter. Also, once he gets a job who knows how long he"ll be out without seeing them. He tells me to go fuck myself and hangs up on me. Now, I am left with an extremely hurt 10 year old, a crying, unable to understand 3 year old and my sweet baby boy. I do not understand why he doesn't care about. He's told me before that he feels nothing for him. I cannot wrap my mind around a parent not wanting to see their kids. My babies are difficult, demanding, and sarcastic. They drive me insane most often by 9 a.m. There is still no way in hell that I would NOT want to see them The idea of going a month at a time without hearing their sweet little voices and breathing in their smell is completely unimaginable. My heart aches for them. Especially Bronson. He is such an amazing little guy and for Fuckhead to not even care to get to know him. He's only kept him maybe 4 times. I know Bronson is better off, yet I cannot help but cry. I cry for him and my girls. Talise is able to understand and take it personally. Mylie is still too small to get it. She's just hurt and confused and has cried off and on all day for her father. I cry because how can he just toss them aside like trash? We worked hard to get them here. None of my babies were surprises. We went through fertility treatments to get pregnant. After being blessed three times how can you just walk away? I hope to never understand. I can say, my mind is beginning to really comprehend hate on an entirely new level. I'm not at all happy with that.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Some things never change

We have officially moved on. It feels great. I wake every morning next to someone I love. Someone that loves me, and makes it known daily. My kids are adjusting well. Mylie is the only one testing the waters any, but that is just Mylie. I keep reminding myself that her strong will should serve her well as an adult. She says she loves Bryan. Talise refuses to admit that she likes him. I think she feels that it would be disloyal to her father to admit that she does. Her face lights up when she speaks of things her and Bryan do together. He seems to be making a significant effort to bond with both Talise and Mylie. Bronson is usually finishing dinner and getting bathed and ready for bed when Bryan gets home. The one time he was alone with the kids for a couple of hours Talise said he was doing baby talk with Bronson and trying to cuddle him, Bronson just wasn't having it. He's my sweet boy. Bronson is super close to me, and even closer to Talise. I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy because of it. He'll let his sister hold and love on him way more than he will me. Oh well, such is life. Back to moving on, Talise is officially registered at her new school. She starts Monday and we went yesterday to meet her teacher. The teacher seems fun, we shall see. Talise is a bit nervous, but I know she'll do wonderful. She always makes friends quickly. Bryan and I have been trying to merge our things. My goodness is it difficult. I have 14 years and three kids worth of stuff and he is just an emotional guy. He places sentimental value on so much. He has a hard time letting things go. I have a difficult time with clutter, nick knacks and collections. Seeing that stuff makes me feel anxious. I like everything to have a place, neatly. He has stacks of papers all over. I bet their is a stack in every room. I am dying to go through and toss stuff, or just combine it all. He's asked me to please not. I am desperately trying to be patient. I received a call from Fernando the other day to tell me that he lost his job, yet again. The only reason he called was because he doesn't want me to report him for non-payment. He went on to say there are no jobs. I called his bluff and texted him several jobs in his field from I told him to file for unemployment and as long as he pays something I won't turn him in. That man had the nerve to say that unemployment doesn't pay much! I reminded him that diapers are less expensive than a carton of cigarettes, if he can buy those he can pay for diapers, wipes and pull-ups! He goes on to tell me that he can't pay child support from jail. My response, he also can't enjoy the freedoms of life. Funny how self centered people remain that way even when they have those sweet little faces to provide for. I will never understand that mentality. I count my blessings everyday for meeting Bryan. He is such a different man than my ex. He has faults as we all do, but they are so bearable that they aren't worth mentioning. I am truly enjoying being domestic again. Not that I didn't feed my kids, or clean my house before moving in,  but having someone kiss me by and welcome me home from work. Having someone thank me for having dinner waiting on them, getting appreciation feels amazing. My kids expect it, he's never had it since living on his own that I am aware of. I am happy. It feels great.