Wednesday, April 16, 2014

True Colors

People can't hide their true identity forever. You know, we all do it. Put our best foot forward when we first meet people. Presenting our best selves.  As relationships develop tidbits of our true feelings peek out. Often when we see sides of the people we care about that we don't like we just over look it. Rather than trust our intuition, we continue on as if nothing was given. All is sunshine and happiness. I do it more often than I'd like to admit. I wish I would just follow my gut. I feel guilty when I think badly of someone. When I get that uneasy vibe I just brush it off. Doing that has burned me so many times. I've had a lot on my plate emotionally lately. My family has been going through some difficult horrible things. Dealing with the aftermath of it all has some of us in counseling. I am one of those seeing a therapist. So when someone that has betrayed my trust and invited drama into my life needed help I was hesitant and spoke to my dear therapist about it. She strongly advised against it. I care about the person in need a great deal even though I feel like I cannot trust them. I did not want them to feel unimportant, or be hurt by my not helping. So, in spite of my doctors orders I said OK. I will admit, I had to take a Xanax to be there for the person without breaking down myself. Well that was about a month ago and things have been alright until Sunday. The main story is second hand as I was working at the time, but this is what I was told. My sweet baby thinks she is too big for her high chair. She wanted a snack. She saw Emma eating some chips and salsa so she pulled her tiny self into one of our breakfast chairs and stood at the table. We've told her several times not to stand in the chair. She's 18 months old though. She's either too determined to be big like the others or doesn't have the impulse control to not do it. Probably a bit of both. Mylie decided she wanted some grapes and asked Emma to get some for her. As Emma was getting the grapes, Bree turned in her chair and reached for the door. When she did the chair tipped and Bree's precious little face slammed into our freezer. Like I said,I was at work. I was just starting to eat lunch when Bryan calls. I hear Bree screaming in the background. He asks me if you treat a nosebleed in a child like you would an adult. When I asked him why he said Bree's nose was bleeding from both nostrils and blood was pooling in her mouth. I immediately panicked and called one of our Dr.'s at work and told him what happened. He felt like Bree needed to be seen. I told Bryan to call his mom to watch the kids and get Bree down here. He said OK and we hung up. For some reason I felt compelled  to call his mom myself. When she answered she said she just got off the phone with Bryan. She had just finished loading her car to take Bryan's dad the last of his things to his rehabilitation center. She said Bryan should be calling me then. He was, so I hung up with her thinking he reached her in the nick of time. He proceeds to tell me that she said NO! His dad had been at rehab for 3 days at that point and wasn't going anywhere. Bree is her grand baby. She could have a broken nose or worse and she said no. I've heard her talk of meeting Bryan's sister at the hospital because one of her kids had a fever. Hell, she's talked about staying up all night and checking on Bryan's sister every 30 minutes because she didn't feel well. She stayed at her house and took care of her baby so his sister could rest. To me her actions, or lack there of is a huge red flag. Her lack of response or concern for her grand child is unforgivable. I am utterly, hopelessly disappointed. The only other person in his family I felt close to has let my baby down. That straight pisses me off. What's worse is all of my family is out of state and my friends are either out of state or live far from me. Thank goodness for my co-workers and therapist. They all let me vent and help me see the other side of a situation. I am pulling away from all of his family for a while.