Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Oh My Gosh! I've always heard about crazy clingy women but not guys. I have been terribly mistaken. This dating thing has blown me away! My self confidence has escalated which is great but my forwardness has had to as well. I have had men send my completely unprovoked images of their erections because you know that always convinces a girl to have casual sex ~ psh! I have had guys that I have only met once and not gone anywhere with get all controlling and freak out on me when they find out I am speaking to more than one guy. Why is it completely acceptable for a date? I mean isn't that the meaning of dating? Seeing different people to find out who's out there worthy of you? I've had three guys ask me to move in with them to help them with their bills! Yes, that really happened with three unrelated people. I've been invited to meet up for couples sex. DO I really put out that kinda vibe? Total mistake if that is the case. I am not at all into that sort of thing. Plus their is fuckhead to deal with. It has been extremely interesting. Not all bad though. I have met a few potentials, just waiting to see what works out!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Bangs head on the wall

I've been in love more than once. I've had my heart broken more than I'd care to remember. I know how it feels to desperately want things back to where they felt good to me. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why Fernando will not move on. While we were married he spoke incessantly about how he could not wait to be rid of me. Now that he is he will not leave me alone. What really gets to me is that he leads in with something about the kids and it always ends with me having to say it's never going to happen...ever! I have actually had to threaten to contact the sheriff's office about him harassing me. Even with that he just HAS to text back a few more times. I swear! I have been completely honest with him. I have broken it down the best I know how. I am at a loss. He's even tried to convince me by saying that he'll stay gone on the road all the time.We don't have to talk, we can just text each other even when in the same room. I can have his paycheck (psh! if he keeps one). Who would want that? That is not a relationship.  The ink is barely dry on our divorce papers, which I carry with me as they make me smile ;). Why would I even consider him? His famous words are: forget the past.Yeah, that is possible. Maybe if the kids and I hadn't been through all that we have because of him that would be possible. unfortunately that is not the case. Any advise to get rid of this craziness is welcomed!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


So, this whole three year old business is not my favorite so far. I swear my girl is much more tantrum prone than ever. The only upside to this age is she understands consequences, she just doesn't care. She has a great vocabulary and pronounces words well, so when she freaks out the general public is well informed of her unhappiness. Example: I had to bring my babes with me to my job so I could fax some paperwork. She had fallen asleep in the car on the way there so was less than pleased about going inside. She followed me around, barking orders and refusing to behave. As we were leaving she wanted a mint. When I told her no due to her behavior she screamed out IDIOT! I was mortified. Her older sister was also spoken to regarding the incident because she is who Mylie learned the word from. Usually if Mylie isn't acting a fool out in public then I embarrass myself by looking all wild eyed and crazy from the stress of it all. I keep telling myself, it's a stage, it'll pass and her strong will will serve her well as an adult ~ hopefully!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Just wicked

I have been in such a feisty, fun, wicked mood since speaking with the clerks office last Friday. Work was awesome, even though one of my favorite people left. I have been more outspoken, sarcastic, and just happy. Such a relief! What an incredible burden  has been lifted, and boy can I feel it. I feel like my old self. The person I was before I met my ex. The person I was becoming. My confidence has grown tremendously. I am loving life. Is it weird that I carry a copy of my divorce papers with me. They boost my mood.  Freedom. Now that I will be getting some child support I can use MY money to join a gym, buy new boobs, and enjoy life. I may have to get some Retin A to fight smile lines now!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

At a loss

I am completely dumbfounded. It's like a switch has been flipped in my Myliebel. I have NO idea what happened to her. She has been unbelievably mean and tantrum prone. She behaved so badly at her three year old well check today, that not only do I not remember any of her measurements,the nurse offered to watch Bronson while I took her to the potty for a spank. I was humiliated. I had company over and she went ballistic. She screamed like a nut regardless of what I did and only shut up if I sat beside her on the chair. If I even attempted to speak to my friend she would start up again. Again, humiliated. I have no idea what to do with her. The pediatrician suggested time outs.  I mentioned that to my friend during Mylie's fit. They just laughed. Yeah, that'll work!  I've taken things away.Tried ignoring bad behaviors and praising good ones, time outs, standing in the corner, spanking, and so far nothing works. Girls got some major stamina too. She'll repeat momma over and over while I am holding her and staring straight at her face. Unless I say what Mylie she just keeps repeating. SO annoying. I miss my sweet girl. This new attitude does not thrill me.