Wednesday, January 18, 2012


My emotions are running on high lately, which I am sure is hormone related. I can't help but sit and think how amazingly blessed I am. This is the very first pregnancy that I didn't have to really work at achieving. This is the first one that I didn't have to take medicines, check my cervix and keep a chart on. It makes me believe that my ovulation issues were completely stress related. It is no secret that my ex and I had a difficult relationship at best. All three of my children I begged God for. In fact, after I had Talise I tried for five years to get pregnant. It wasn't until after I joined a church, had others praying for me as well and my ex and I both became baptized that I did conceive again. It still took six cycles of Clomid to do it though. Bronson was a bit easier. It only took 4 months total of meds to achieve pregnancy with him. All of those precious babies were made out of love for them. Longing for another child, not feeling whole, knowing my family wasn't complete is how they came about. I love them all immensely and am SO very grateful that God gave me the children he did, even when I am at my wits end. This baby though, this baby surprised me. This baby required no effort. This baby, I feel, was conceived out of Bryan's and my love for each other. That is almost more than I can handle. I break out into tears almost daily thinking about it. I am so grateful to be able to experience this. I pray that all women that want a child get to as well.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

*bangs head on wall*

Why on earth would any adult that cares about another adult choose to fuss at a three year old at the expenses of adult loving? I do not understand and am pissed off about it!