Wednesday, April 25, 2012

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After a lot of talking, both together and with friends and family we have decided to continue on with our journey. We are still going to pursue couples counseling as I am very protective and defensive given my previous relationship and this is his first time at all of this. He's stepped into not just a woman with baggage, but two girls with a lot of baggage also. Thankfully, Bronson was so small all he knows is Bryan as his daddy. Given that we have been together for a year and this is the first time he's ever even raised his voice to me says a lot. My first instinct is to run because of my past. We still have growing to do as a couple but we are both happy and love each other very much. A friend pointed out just how much has happened this year for us. We met, moved in together, got engaged and got pregnant all before our one year mark! We have been super busy! All of this is so fast that it causes stress even if we are happy with each other. We still have to house hunt and buy a bigger vehicle! It is all overwhelming. We are not having a big ceremony or anything. We hope to get away together for a couple of days before the baby is born and have a belated honeymoon once she has arrived. The lady that is going to marry us is actually coming to our house! How convenient is that? We will have close family over and that is it. So onward we go!

Saturday, April 21, 2012


I am postponing the marriage. I say marriage because we aren't having a real ceremony, well weren't is more appropriate. After getting our marriage license and buying my wedding band yesterday I got a peek of Bryan's true colors and it scared me. He lost his temper and was extremely disrespectful and hurtful not only to me, but in front of my kids and in public. I've already gone down that road and will not do it again. Since we have a child on the way and my two youngest love him I am willing to try pre-marital counseling first. If things don't improve then I'll deal with that when it happens. Right now the only reason I see to go through with it is to prevent having to explain to his family, and that is no reason to marry someone. I guess his best friend was right when he said that Bryan would run me off. If this offends, I hate it. My blog, my life, my opinions.

Monday, April 9, 2012


Bronson was the first one to wake, after me that is. I was laying in bed eagerly anticipating the kids waking up. He was happy about his basket and while he checked it out I went outside and hid eggs. I ended up waking the girls. I don't know how they were sleeping in. As a child I could barely ever sleep the night before a holiday. I love Easter, always have. I love spending time with my family, Easter dinner, talking about the true meaning of our celebration and finding my basket! I no longer receive baskets but I sure enjoy making them for my little ones. After everyone went through their baskets Mylie and Bronson got to hunt eggs. Bronson stood in awe of all the sparkly colored "balls" in the yard. With a little help from Bryan he started picking them up and putting them in his basket. Once he realised their was candy in them he was stoked! We celebrated with Bryan's family or Easter for the first time yesterday.  We stopped and bought an Easter lily for his Granny on the way there. He had never done that! That blew my mind. It was tradition when my Nanny was alive. Someone always brought her either an Easter lily or a Calla lily. She was thankful when I gave it to her. She is such a sweet lady. She cooked a delicious spread of food. We ate lunch and dinner there! The kids played while we all sat outside talking and laughing. I didn't even care to look at a clock.  It was an amazing day.  So relaxing and fun. It made my heart full. It also made me miss my childhood. We had large get togethers for the holidays. I really miss that. I also miss my own Nanny terribly. I am so thankful to have been a part of their gathering.