Thursday, June 30, 2011

So much to do

We are moving, again. Hopefully this will be the last time. I still ave about a month and a half to get everything packed but ugh! I've never had to do it alone. I'm excited though. I'll be back in the Newnan area so I wont have to drive for miles to get to anything. I'm a little bummed tat most likely Mylie wont be able to go to preschool though. She was stoked about it. I'm gonna try though. My guy asked me to move in with him. I am a little nervous as I have only lived with one other guy, Fuckhead. I am SO excited to be able to wake up next to him everyday. Ive been falling fast and hard. Sigh

Monday, June 20, 2011

Just when u think it cant get worse

My mood is horrible. I don't understand why I have to keep explaining the same thing over and over.  What is so difficult about decency and respect? Why is that so hard to understand for some people? Is the entire do unto others thing lost? I feel like ramming my head into the wall out of pure frustration. I really dislike having to explain my feelings. I dislike even more when they are disputed or discredited like I am a fool for feeling the way I do. I hate having to be so vague on here but out of DECENCY and RESPECT I will be. I try so hard to be calm and keep going. I try to keep my chin up and over look things. It seems they are starting to build and build and its a bit overwhelming. I am at my breaking point. I have an extreme dislike for this feeling. It's a sort of scream, cry, pull out hair combination. Its to a point that I am getting frustrated with everyone. Well, that's not entirely true. My patience is much smaller though. It feels a bit better getting it out like this though. Crazy! That is how I feel, and probably how I'm being perceived at the moment. The thing about crazy is, crazy doesn't care. I care immensely, which is why I am on this vicious circle to begin with. Gosh people sure can suck.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Party details

A little back story first. For Talise we had big birthday bashes. Her first birthday we had SO many people over some were sitting on the floor. We did pottery parties, rented movie theaters, bowling parties, inflatable playhouse thingies, she remembers none of them! For Mylie's first birthday I only invited a couple of people and did finger foods and such and she slept through most of it. I decided for Bronson I'd basically treat it like any other day with a few little exceptions. I took him out to an early dinner as he goes to bed @ 6:30. He got his first kids meal, hot dog a french fries.  he ate it like a boss! Seeing as how he's only got 4 teeth, buddy can eat! He had fun but started getting sleepy. We left and went to pick up his cake and birthday balloon. My mom promptly dropped his cake s she was getting in the car. I could have cried, but didn't. It wasn't too bad, but I bought a replacement anyway. We gt home and let him open his gift. He got crazy mad and had a fit because I took away an ink pen that he was far more interested in than his gift. Once he realised their was more than paper in the bag he was down to party! He loved his activity cube. he did NOT love getting stripped down for cake, another small fit. Once he realised he could go wild with the cake it was on. He kicked that cakes tail something fierce! When he could no longer pull off pieces to eat he leaned in with his face like a dog to eat it! He finished nearly the entire thing. I was sure he was gonna puke. He never did. He DID stay up 2.5 hours past his bedtime though! He was up crawling around and bouncing. He was a happy boy. It was a great day! Too bad he won't remember it.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


This time last year I was packing my bag to be induced. After trying to bust out early,Bronson decided if he couldn't come when he wanted to then he'd stay forever. I was a nervous wreck. My ex was still over the road and I was completely freaking out that he wouldn't get home in time. My first son! I could not wrap my brain around having a boy. Now, I cannot imagine NOT having my amazing son. This past year has unfairly flown by. Time passes quickly enough as it is, with all that has happened this year I cannot remember half of it.  Fortunately I was able to pour all of my love into that sweet boy. He's such a fun, cuddly little guy. He listens pretty well so far. He's getting quite brave as well. He stands without holding on, and today he dropped a piece of chicken on the floor and slowly bent over to pick it up and stood back p without falling over. I was so proud of him. When I applaud his efforts he grins so big! He loves it when I call him a big boy. His smile brightens his whole face. Ive been so blessed.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Me? Too nice?

I really don't think so. That is what I am being told though, in regards to my ex. I didn't get child support again this week. After several phone calls I found out that my ex is responsible for me getting the money regardless of if his wages are garnished or not. After calmly and respectfully speaking to him about it he agreed to pay the two weeks he owes. That was Friday, now I wait. We have court again on Thursday and Bronson turns one on Friday. Just typing that out makes me want to cry. I have been SO emotional lately. Very sensitive, mostly towards Bryan. I feel really lucky to have met him. I love him. I try to not create issues, but I almost feel like that is what I am doing. I will sit and think about something and it will eat at me. I will go back and forth as to whether to mention it or not. On the one hand, I refuse to tolerate anything displeasing to me anymore from a man. On the other hand ANYTHING I have ever gotten the least bit upset about, which isn't much, he has been so quick to try to make it better. He loves me. He demonstrates love every time he's around me. Heck, even his texts show love. He's a good man. He's close to his family which I love. Maybe it's feeling like this so soon after living in hell is why I am being so emotional. I just hope I don't sabotage this.