Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Happy Holidays, err...

I was excited, yet concerned a bit about celebrating with my loves family. His parents are great, but his sister and I aren't exactly the best of friends as my close friends well know. We had a blow out before I moved in and things have been at an uncomfortable stand still since. My children adore his parents. Thankfully, his sister is nice to them when I am not around according to my oldest. I was nervous though as his father has mentioned her saying she wasn't sure she could control her temper. I think she did well. Did we speak? Nope! Was it uncomfortable for me? Nope! Everyone else was so nice and there was so much going on all went well. Except when Bronson wanted to open a present early. His mom (aka Nanny) wanted to pass out all the gifts then everyone open at the same time. That is completely understandable. Well, my little fella is only 18 months old. He has zero patience. I was not going to let him because Bryan's youngest nephew is only 2. I understand. Well Bryan's mom mentioned letting Bronson go ahead (again, I would not have said OK) and his sister got all crazy eyed as she reminded her mom that she has two young kids too. It's not fair. She is right. It wouldn't have been fair even though her oldest IS older than Mylie. His mom was trying to prevent a meltdown is all. I say since that was it, we had an amazing holiday. Actually the kids had presents to open for four days! FOUR! They got so much stuff it was mind blowing. Bronson is now a master un-wrapper and Mylie really thought that on Tuesday after Christmas she should get more. She was quite bummed when I told her the good times were over until her birthday, in March. She doesn't have long to wait. She didn't want to hear it! I have to say, this was the best adult holiday season I have experienced. I truly love everyone getting together, telling stories of the past, and eating and laughing. I am SO grateful my little ones got to experience it. I can honestly say now that I do hope that his sister and I are able to mend things before Bryan and I get married or have kids. I hate that his parents are so hurt by this. I understand why though. I also hate that they seem to want desperately to fix it, yet can't. I am glad the holidays are, for the most part over, and look forward to more with my love, and his family.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Don't Know What's Come Over Me

Maybe it's the holidays. The beautiful lights and Christmas music always lifts my mood. I love the sights and smells of Christmas. Maybe it's the peace of a boring relationship, and by boring I mean no picking and fighting. Maybe it's just falling more in love. I am not sure what it is but it's strong and almost overwhelming. I could stare at that man all day. I miss him like mad when either he or I am at work. I cannot keep my hands off of him. I love snuggling and breathing him in. I just cannot get enough of him. I am so completely happy it's unreal. Sometimes I sit and just cannot believe I am with this man. I was so miserable for so long and really thought, but prayed not, that I always would be. I remember sitting there thinking about being old and completely miserable and how sad that would make me. I almost feel undeserving. He is so kind and loving. His family is great. He is a father to my kids, much more so than their sperm donor. I know I sing his praises all the time, but I just adore him. What's even better, he loves the attention. I used to get pushed away all the time, so I worry often that I am bugging him. He always reassures me that he enjoys the attention. I've been so gushy with love that he asked me if I was pregnant! He assumed I must be full of hormones. Not the case just yet. Regardless of if it's the holidays or I"m just full of love,I'll take it!