Tuesday, October 14, 2008

me and my doodles...


We had a photo shoot last Friday. I think it went well. We are still waiting to see the pictures. Mylie can sit up unassisted now. She has got a temper ! When she wants something she wants it right now! And when she's mad she lets you know about it quickly. We are thinking about moving to Alabama. We'll see.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

times are hard...

things just seem to keep going from bad to worse financially. i know things will improve, but it sucks when you're in a low. Mylie is eating soft foods. she loves oatmeal and bananas, green beans, peas, carrots, squash, and mashed potatoes. she can sit for a while unassisted, rolls around and scoots. talise hit me on the arm the other day while i was holding mylie and mylie started laughing so hard. every time talise popped me mylie would laugh. talise said "maybe mylie will be evil like me!" she's not evil! i love my girls!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

DOODLES

SHE CAN NOW SIT ON HER OWN WITHOUT FALLING OVER FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES AT A TIME! SHE ALSO SCOOTS AROUND. ON FRIDAY NIGHT MY MOM CAME OVER TO SPEND THE NIGHT FOR TALISE'S BIRTHDAY AND WE WERE SITTING AT THE TABLE EATING PIZZA. DOODLES WAS GETTING UPSET CAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT SO I GOT HER A BITER BISCUIT. NEXT THING I KNOW SHE HAS BITTEN OFF A PIECE OF IT AND IS CHOKING! I HOLLERED AT MY MOM TO GET IT OUTTA HER MOUTH AS I MADE MY WAY AROUND THE TABLE. I HAD HER UP AND ON MY ARM POPPING HER N THE BACK WHILE FERNANDO FISHED OUT THE REST OF THE CRACKER. FINALLY SHE STARTED CRYING! IT SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ALL OF US! NO MORE BITER BISCUITS ANY TIME SOON!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Happy Birthday Talise!


Today my first baby turns 8! I cannot believe it! Time has flown by. I really hope i am able to get her a cake without her knowing it today. We are financially tight right now so we aren't able to throw her a big party, family is coming over this weekend. She has her school pictures today also. I got her a new top and some matching bangle bracelets and she got up early and I curled her hair and she had monkey bread for breakfast. She was in a good mood. Fernando brought her a pair of socks from the laundry room this morning and even though this is totally disrespectful I laughed so hard tears were rolling down my face. When he handed her the socks she looked at them and said they have fleas on them, good job genuis! I did correct her, but laughed all the same.
Now, little Miss Doodles - she continues to amaze me. She has started eating baby food. So far she loves oatmeal, she'll even eat it with squash mixed with it. You can't feed it to her fast enough. She is not a sweet potatoe fan, and we are gonna try carrots tonight. She is a rolling pro, and she has found a way to squirm around without actually crawling. Fernando stood her up in her pack and play the other day and she stood there holding onto the side for a good minute or two without falling. She's only 5 months old! When you feed her she says mmm! She is just the best baby ever! i love her so much!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My little prodigy


Mylie continues to amaze me. Not only is she super cuddly and affectionate, but she is the smartest little baby ever! She can now completely roll over which ever way she wants to. She also is very curious. When she is nursing, if she hears someone come into the room or the t.v. noise changes she has to look to see what is going on. Talise used to do that too though. She has gone through several nicknames...at first it was princess, then sugar dumpling, then just dumpling, then dumpling doodles, then doodles and now sometimes doodle bug. Fernando has been staying home taking care of her. He's not only bonded more with her, but he also does a lot with her. Playing with her and giving her lots of tummy time. I am very proud of him. I ADORE that baby!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Lazy Sunday

It has been a good weekend. I FINALLY remembered to bring your Snuggli shopping with us and you were a happy girl Mylie bell! Since you were strapped to the front of me you got to see everything that was going on and was pleased as punch. You are trying so hard to roll from your back to your stomach, but can't quite get over that shoulder, if you get some help from your sister she has to move your arm once your on your belly. You give it an honest try though. I love you so much Mylie Isabel!
video

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Myie rolled over!


She's growing by leaps and bounds! It's just amazing! She was on the floor for tummy time and then bloop! There you go! She was on her back. We went to the park today and had a picnic. Talise was so happy! It was nice to be off to do something together as a family. Mylie loves being outdoors. I took her down a couple of tunnel slides and on the swings, she was just peaceful. She fell asleep in her stroller. We decided to lay down on the blanket so we took her out of her stroller to lay with us ad she started fussing. As soon as we got her back in her stroller and started walking again she settled back down. It was a good day!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Mylie is amazing!!!!!


She just turned four months old last Sunday and yesterday she said her first word! DaDa! She said it several times just as clear as a bell. I can't get over it! I am going to have to pull out Talise's baby book to see when she started talking. I know Talise was advanced and I believe she talked early, but I don't think it was this early. I am beside myself! What a smart girl! I just love her to pieces!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Changes keep coming


Poor little Mylie, her reflux has been giving her fits. Her meds have increased and we started adding cereal to her bottles. It seems to help. She's such a sweet baby, I hate to see her in pain. Talise has been very moody. School starts for her next week. I hope that helps. Maybe when she has her own thing to do and some time away from us during the day she'll be nicer to be around. Lately it seems like she gets upset at me for spending time with Mylie, but when I try to spend time with Talise she pushes me away. Almost like she's punishing me. She is NOT adjusting to following a insulin resistant diet well. She doesn't understand, she's too young. She thinks it's just about losing weight, not about her little body not breaking down her foods like it should. I swear, since she found out she has to eat a certain way all she has wanted to do is eat. It's making me nuts! Well, that's all for now. I don't feel like blogging anymore.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Myliebell...so stinking smart!


That baby just amazes me! Now when I change her diaper, once I get it unfastened and pull the front down she holds her little legs up in the air and grabs her toes! i swear she is holding them up out of the way the same way I do. I am a toe holder also! I tell you, she is a genius! She babbles at you in sync with the conversation, like she totally understands what is going on. I just love looking at her. I made the mistake of reading a myspace post about a baby that was shaken to death and now I can't stop thinking about it, or thinking about Mylie. I worry constantly about ways to protect both of my children but especially Mylie since she can't speak yet. Everytime I think about the shaken baby I pull Mylie in a little closer, kiss her a little more often and cuddle with her a little longer. i want her to know how much I love her but don't feel that I can express it enough. My overwhelming worry of something happening to her ( I worry more about SIDS the SBS) makes me dote on her a lot, which in turn makes me feel guilty about giving her so much more attention than Talise. So both of my girls have been hearing a lot of I love you's lately.

I adore my baby


When I was pregnant I was so looking forward to the overwhelming feeling of falling completely in love with my baby. That is how it was with Talise. I was just looking at her the day I brought her home from the hospital, holding her in my arms and I just had this immense feeling of a love that I cannot describe wash over me. That is what I expected with Mylie since I had to try so hard and for so long to get her. But after all the prayers, tears, pleas, and drugs it took to get her here I didn't get that feeling. I was bummed out. She was absolutely beautiful from the moment she came out of me. She barely cried. She just snuggled up next to me and relaxed, that in my arms, listening to my heart is exactly where she should be, and still no gush of love. I felt jipped. But now I realize that what I have is just as immense and overwhelming, so much so that God couldn't put it on me all at once, I couldn't take it. I completely adore her. It snook up on me and now I am smitten. I can honestly say that I have never had a negative thought towards her at all. i look forward to going home to her. I still get excited about her waking up, even if I am dog tired. I could cry right now thinking about her. I still just lay and stare at her, kissing her sweet little forehead as she nurses. When she smiles, oh how my heart melts. What's even better, is that Talise adores her too. Mylie adores Talise. Her little eyes light up when she sees her big sister. She stares at her and smiles, she laughs at her and tries to kiss her. Now I know why God waited so long to bless us with Mylie. He knew I wasn't ready, my heart just wasn't big enough to appreciate all of her greatness. I now know that my heart is huge, it has to be, or else it would just explode from all the love I carry in it for my children. I love them both for different reasons, but I love them all the same.
It is amazing how different your kids can be. Talise is so head strong, always has been. She is relentless, intelligent, kind, silly and very sensitive. Mylie is happy, content, laid back and cuddly. I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am. Thank you God for blessing me with two beautiful girls, please always keep them safe and healthy.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!


Today started out well enough. I had to rush to get the girls from the sitter and take the to the nutritionist. That went well. Talise can eat a lot more things than I thought, which made her happy, me too. I don't want her to feel left out, but I don't want her to get heavy either. So we get home and Mylie and I lay down. Talise hates when I have to go to sleep after work. I don't blame her, she's bored. I would be too. She let me sleep though, or tried to. My mom called, which woke me up, but gave Talise someone to talk to. Then Carlos called...6 TIMES!!!!!!!! that just plain pissed me off. When I got up after the last call I asked Talise to get me a glass of tea, which she happily did. Then I asked her where my cell phone was, it was supposed to be on the charger, but I knew that she spoke to my mom on it so I figured it wasn't. I was right. Not only was it not on the charger but she had destroyed the house. Sofa cushions were everywhere, there was a huge mixing bowl with what was left of cereal and milk on the table, toys all over the floor, grapes everywhere. I was mad. I told her to get in there and pick up her mess, and find my phone. She started arguing with me! Saying she couldn't look for my phone if she was cleaning up the sofa. So I jumped up and spanked her, but not until she ran in her room to hide where I find Fernando asleep! I didn't even know he had come home. Instead of entertaining his poor bored to death daughter, he takes a nap! So as I was going to the bathroom I see where Talise has Mylie's baby powder out in the dining room, after she said she put it away. So I hollered at her to come get it and put it where it goes. She wouldn't come to me. she said she was too scared. So I popped her on the leg again, once she finally got it and put it in Mylie's room. Then I finally make it to the bathroom and see where Talise had pooped her pants and left it in the bathroom floor!!!!!! So I called her in there and made her get down to see what I was angry about and told her to clean it up. She tossed it in the laundry room. I told her no, you have to clean up the poop before you put the panties in the laundry room. After she cleans it up I notice one of Mylie's baby spoons on the bathroom counter. I pick it up and carry it with me to my bedroom where Talise is to ask her why she messed with it. Mylie's hasn't even gotten to use them yet! As I hold it up for her to see she turns around real fast to take off away from me and her hair catches around the rubber tip of the spoon and pulls. She started screaming and I had to get the spoon out of her hair. She did go clean up the sofa and I was so upset that I had to throw up. While I a heaving I hear Fernando telling her it was her fault that I was sick, because of all her crying. That pissed me off! When she came in the bedroom where I was nursing Mylie I told her it was not her fault that I got sick, I got sick because I was so upset, not because she cried. I apologized for loosing my temper. I still hate myself for it. I got no sleep, I am stressed out, I have a ton on my plate, and I was angry at Fernando for not staying up with her. He doesn't seem to care how all of this affects me. I cried. I called my mom, she made me feel a little better. It was like I was watching myself, or I was possessed or something. I know how it feels to be treated that way and yet I still did it. I don't understand why. When I am stressed Fernando focuses on making it worse. He'll make little comments or holler out. I yelled at Talise so while I was vomiting he would yell out just the same exact thing and the same exact way I did. He did it just to upset me. I don't understand. Why didn't he step in and stop me. Why didn't he try to calm me down? We don't deserve to be parents. I don't want to leave him, but sometimes I think we'd be better off apart. So basically, my day sucked. I totally failed my daughter. I hope I can do better tomorrow. I pray that I do enough good to make up for the bad.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Change has come in so many ways...


I cannot believe how long it has been since I posted on here. Well to catch up I DID get pregnant in July of 07 and had an amazing pregnancy, so easy. I went into labor 2 weeks early and didn't even really think I was in labor, just that something was going on. I think I could've done it without drugs, but was afraid to try. On March 27 2008 at 1:18 a.m. Mylie Isabel Dutra glided peacefully into our world. What a blessing she is! She barely cried, and was absolutely beautiful. i couldn't take my eyes off of her and giggled when I heard her first cry. After all the prayers, sobs and arguments. All the years of trying, begging, feeling let down by my own body. She is here. She is the BEST baby ever. She wakes up with a huge smile. She grins so wide. Her whole face lights up. She only cries when she is hungry or sleepy or hurt. She has terrible reflux, but doesn't even fuss over it. She looks a lot like my dad, which makes me think of him more often. She'll gladly accept breast or bottle, mom's milk or formula. She loves a bath, and lying on a blanket outside looking up at the sky. She sucks on her little fingers to soothe herself. She doesn't fuss over diaper changes and clothes changes. She looks for her sister anytime she hears her. She LOVES Talise! Talise is outstanding as a big sister. She takes it very seriously, and even though she says she misses having me to herself she dotes on Mylie a lot. She is always wanting to buy her clothes and toys. She loves to hold her. It amazes me how two people can have two children that are so very different. Mylie is so laid back and happy. Talise is high strung, but very funny. Both of them are full of love. Mylie is long and chubby, where Talise was tiny in every way. Mylie warns you before she starts crying with a few uncomfortable grunts where Talise went into full blown hysteria immediately. I am so much more calm and patient with Mylie, which makes me feel bad for Talise. I was so unsure of myself with her, which made me very anxious. I think she fed off of that. I didn't fall head over heals in love with Mylie immediately like I did with Talise. But now I cannot imagine my life without her. She is so peaceful and cuddly. I just love holding her in my arms with her sweet little cheek next to mine kissing her little head. I think it is impossible to be unhappy around her. God surpassed my expectations, she is definately worth the wait.