Thursday, October 13, 2011

The proposal

My ring is finally ready! I have longer to see it. I wore a $40.00 piece of glass on my finger for 14 years. The idea of a real diamond, that you can really see is something I never thought I'd have. I've also always wanted a real proposal. Nothing over the top, just heartfelt. Well, as much as I adore Bryan, he is very serious and dry about things. Out of worry of doing it wrong, he actually asked me how I wanted him to do it! I just said to please not ask. Well, I should have answered because we were sitting on the sofa and he looks at me and just asks, the same way he'd ask what's for dinner or what are we watching! I was SO upset! I am an emotional person anyway, and I've expressed how important the proposal is to me and that's all he's got? I cried. Cannot help it. Well, later that night after the kids were in the bed we were talking about it. I of course was crying again and he was telling me how much I mean to him, how much my kids mean to him and before I knew it he was kneeling beside me. He told me how much he loves me and my kids and how he wants us to always be with him. Then he asked me. I looked at the box because I haven't seen the finished product, just the designers image. He tells me he isn't opening the box until I give him an answer. I told him he's not getting an answer until he opens the box! (stubborn I know) When he opened it I completely lost it. I don't even remember if he put it on my finger or me. I don't remember if I even said yes. It is SO beautiful. So much better than I thought it would be. If it equates how much he loves me then I am one extremely blessed woman. I was crying so hard he kept asking me if I was OK. It took a good five minutes or more before I could even respond. I am crying now trying to type it out. Seeing my gorgeous ring makes me feel loved and worthy. I truly felt that I wouldn't ever be with someone decent. I don't know why, but I guess after years of hearing how everything about you is wrong when someone tries to show you how right you are for them it is so overwhelming. Whats so silly is, we already had decided we are going to get married. It's not like it was a surprise, but man. I have never had such an extreme response to something like that. The only other times I've felt overcome like that are when I had my babies and when my grandmother and aunt died. I always thought it was a put on when women got all emotional and cried while saying yes. I was mistaken! I was a big blubbering mess! I am so completely, utterly happy. Completely head over heals in love with this man. Now we just have to set a date!