Friday, June 6, 2014
Things have been really peaceful lately. The kids finished up their school year. Mylie got several awards, including all A honor roll all year. We are proud. The pool is open and the weather is nice. We've been spending most afternoons there. Emma's had company come stay with us. It's been fun. Bree has really adapted to the water. Her bravery can be uncomfortable for me. Either me or Bryan try to stay close to her at all times. Mylie is part fish apparently. She doesn't even use her floats. Bronson does his own thing mostly. Every now and then he'll ask me to take him out where his feet can't touch. It's nice cause the pool is made like the beach in the sense that as you walk it gradually gets deeper until you step down from 2 feet to 3 feet. So far all our neighbors we've met at the pool have been quite nice. We had new neighbor's move in next door as well. The guy is friendly and seems to have a bubbly personality. I haven't met his wife yet.They don't have children which is kind of a bummer. The ladies in the sales office say that the people moving in behind us have kids. I hope so. We've spent a lot of time outside. Grilling most of our food, letting the kids run through the sprinkler and eat their weight in ice pops. As I was speaking to my husband the other night I realized, since I've pulled away from anyone that has proven toxic to my mental health I have been at peace. Bryan and I have had much fewer disagreements. He hasn't felt pulled between our family and his. It's been nice. It's unfortunate that this is my reality. I think too much was shared. I am a good listener. People often open up to me. I am also loyal, so what is said is kept to myself. I listened whenever a vent was needed. I heard so many hurtful things that were said about me and I was asked to keep them inside. I truly don't think it was to upset me. I believe in my heart it was just nice to get it all out. Everyone needs someone to talk to. It just got to be too much. I didn't want to betray the trust of someone dear to me. It was just overwhelming trying to hold it in. Realizing that I am the odd man out, and will most often be viewed as in the wrong has taught me to invest less emotion into these people. I still haven't spilled the beans. I don't want to cause any heartache. Just not hearing anymore negativity has improved my disposition tremendously. I will hang onto hope for change in the future.Until then, I will keep my focus on those that I love and that love me in return. It seems that is my therapy. My babies bring me unconditional love and pure joy. My husband and the life we've made together is fantastic. We are immensely blessed.