Saturday, February 11, 2012

This little bit

This pregnancy has hit me hard! I don't know if it's because I am older, have three other children, work or what but I am completely exhausted. That is the one positive to Bryan's shift change, I don't feel guilty for heading to bed as soon as my oldest child turns in for the night. I could nap every single day if my other kids allowed it. Nausea! I stay so sick feeling. Even with Zofran I have a constant I am about to spew feeling.  I've heard old wives tales that being so miserable is a good sign. I sure hope so because being worn out and pukey feeling I am ill as a hornet most of the time. Add a toddler and preteen to the mix and my eye starts twitching before I realize it. I am currently recuperating from a kidney infection to boot. All this has been trying on my relationship. I will say that even though Bryan can be selfish at times and inconsiderate, once I point it out and advise him how to get a better response out of me he pays attention. I really hope the selfish thing passes. He's used to being only him, so it's been an uphill battle about putting my kids before himself. Example: Bronson wakes up crying. Bryan: I'll get him up! Me: Great! Thanks baby. Bryan then gets dressed, goes outside to smoke, comes in, gets a drink then wonders why I am incredibly pissed off that Bronson is still in him crib screaming. I've had to train him on things like that. It's sometimes difficult to be patient about it. I am sure hormones play a big role in my lack of patience too. He now knows it's much calmer for him to go ahead and get Bronson, change his diaper, give him a cup of juice, then go smoke and do what ever it is he wants to do. I think guys in general don't feel the same sense of urgency that moms do when it comes to their young. My babies don't wait needlessly. I am a firm believer that meeting needs builds trust! I am trying to get Bryan trained before the new baby gets here though. He's doing well I think. All this stuff has me feeling blah. We have to buy a bigger house, and bigger car, all new baby stuff, a new bed for Mylie and Bronson, the list goes on.  It's overwhelming.  All because of this tiny little bit growing inside my womb.