Monday, September 20, 2010

Getting things done

I have such a busy girl. Since September 3, 2010 I have cleared all his things out of my house. I have put everything in storage. I have dropped him off of everything I can. A lot of things require a divorce decree. I have contacted an attorney. I am opened new accounts. I have filled out so much paper work, waited on hold for hours, drove all over the place to get things done. It is exhausting! I am so ready for this all to be over. He's trying to work his way back in here. Not Gonna Happen! After ranting and raving the entire time I was on maternity leave about not wanting to be a mister mom and how he will not stay home weekends to watch our children he is now emailing me (must be with help) saying how much he misses them and would like to watch them on weekends. NOPE! Not after the way he bullied them after I had Bronson. It will be a frozen day in hell first. i pray that I get full custody. I pray that he gets limited if not supervised visitation. I want the kids to see him, but am really scared to leave them alone with him. He had gotten quite mean and physical with them. I had to constantly intervene. Even though he didn't physically hurt Bronson, he did little things that were mean. Bronson likes to lay on his belly to sleep so he can suck his thumb. He would lay Bronson on his back and let him cry. He commented how he felt nothing towards him, and even commented once while we were in the car and Bronson was crying how he'd like to get back there and slap the shit out of Bronson. No way do I want him around Bronson! The last time he was home my mom was here too.  I had to work. He was mad because Mylie wanted him to hold her, he was holding Bronson. Since he refused to put Bronson down Mylie started pitching a fit.  he screamed out that all three of these damn kids need to go to a f*@#*&# orphanage! My mom was livid. Who says that? OK, enough bashing.  I am bitter  angry.  Done. I just want to protect my babies, but I don't want them to hate me for keeping them from him.  Yet I am afraid, seriously afraid, to let them be alone with him. Maybe them hating me isn't so bad. It just sucks that I am the one loving them, taking care of them, working, disciplining, nagging and he is the one Talise calls to tell him how her day was. He makes all these promises to her. He actually followed through for her birthday, and now he's offering her more money. What about money for food or electricity? How about diaper money? nah, fish are more fun right. The babies will just get trained to use the paper. Bronson can scoot.  I'm sure I can teach him to squat. He left several lighters. It may take a while to cook by lighter, but we can make do. We are resilient. Spam doesn't require much heat anyways.