Sunday, June 27, 2010

It's all in the way you approach it.

So today was horrible. I started the day off extremely tired. I spent the night on the sofa with Bronson and neither of us slept very well. We were both exhausted.  So when Talise came in the living room at 6 a.m. I shooed her away. Then Mylie woke up at 7:30 a.m. so I sent Talise to go ask her daddy if Bronson and I could go in the bedroom to get some rest and he get up with the girls. After about ten minutes or so I notice the girls in the kitchen so I gathered up Bronson's things and went to the bedroom to find my husband snoozing.  I asked him to please get up so we could rest.  He just looked at me. I was fighting tears as I explained that we barely slept and the girls are awake could we please sleep and he get up. He gets angry with me which leads to me crying. Then he tells me to just lay down. Almost simultaneously I hear the back door open as the girls are headed outside, WITHOUT any supervision. I start to head outside and he jumps up complaining and leaves the room. Well now Bronson is up and needs a new diaper and I am upset so I once he's cleaned up I can't sleep! Later on that afternoon Fernando and I are laying in the bed while I feed the baby and I start talking about going back to work. He looks at me and says he's not going to be Mr. Mom anymore, he's not watching the kids on the weekends.  I immediately get upset and he just looks at me and tells me to get over it. When my eyes start to well up he says oh gosh, not that again. Well that does it, I started to cry. I asked him what he was talking about, what's wrong with watching our children on the weekends so I can work. I was so confused and hurt by his statement. He acted like a total jerk. He was so callous about the whole thing. He simply refused. We went back and forth about it all afternoon. I tried to explain that I need to get out of the house. I need to be around other adults. I don't have any girlfriends that I can just call or go out with. It's ALWAYS just me and the girls. I cannot deal with it. It's just too much. Not the kids, they aren't the problem.  It's the lack of friendship, the lack of support and just conversation. Feeling included. Wanted. Liked. I know my kids need me, and believe me they talk, but it's not the same. He listened, but then dropped a huge bomb on me. I got even more upset. There was no talking to him. He had made up his mind and didn't consider me at all. Later on, after not speaking for a while I started asking questions and he started making a little sense. He was being his old self this time though.  Not the insensitive jerk he was earlier in the day. Turns out his approach was just off ~ WAY OFF! As was mine this morning when I wanted to rest. Ugh! An entire day ruined due to a bad approach. Choose your words wisely! It makes such a difference in how you are perceived.