Saturday, July 3, 2010


He just doesn't get it. I try, I promise I do. Some how, some way he always reduces me to tears. At least lately. Then to make things better he brings up that he knows I've got some after baby crap that makes me cry if you say hello. NOT COOL! So, I had planned on us going to the lake as a family tomorrow evening for Independence Day. Well, Fernando asked me last night if one of his new trucking buddies could meet up with us with his family. Now, I do not do well meeting new people. Especially with all that has been going on lately.  I am an emotional wreck. Horrid.I thought about it for a second and decided sure, it may be nice. Then he starts wanting me to call a friend late at night, that has kids, to see if the park permits fireworks.  I am NOT gonna do that.  I would be upset if someone called me late at night. He wasn't thrilled, but let it go. Then this morning he started again about it so I called but got no answer.  I just looked it up online instead. He spoke to his friend and we decided to meet up later in the afternoon.  I was thinking around 4 or so.  I don't want Bronson out in the sun and heat for too long.  Plus I am super white, super duper white.  I burn.So it's no picnic sitting at the lake for me any ways.  Well his buddy calls at 11 a.m. saying he is on his way. I suggested giving the guy the directions and us just meeting up with him later. NO! The guy wants to cook out! Period! He starts telling me how I ruin everything, and why was I whining about not having friends or getting out of the house if I refuse to do anything fun? I reminded him about Bronson. He was still pissed. He wanted the people, who I have never met, to just come to our house. I have not properly cleaned it for company so that made me feel all panicky. I was begging him to just go with out me and Bronson if it was so important to him. He argued with me. Then I went in the house. Talise comes in and tells me that he was giving the guy directions to our house. I gathered up Bronson and was going to go to my mom's house. I hear him telling the guy, the one that he wants me to go hang out with his wife, the one I haven't ever met, that I am crazy and am showing out. Now there is no way I am going around him, not after Fernando bad mouthed me to him. No way! How embarrassing! Talise later told me how he told the guy I always ruin everything he plans. It hurt. When I tried to speak to him about it because I did not want to ruin every one's good time he started up about how the guy already knows that I am going through the after baby crap and it's fine.  That I am selfish and everything has to be on my terms. Again, I don't want the 3 week old newborn roasting in the sun all day. SORRY! He was going to have his friend just stop at the end of the driveway to get directions. That looks bad.  I asked him to please just text the directions, which eventually I ended up doing for him. finally he said why don't he and the girls just go and come get me and Bronson later this evening.  That was my suggestion hours ago! he left with the girls. I am glad.  I hope they have fun. My eyes hurt from crying, my tummy is upset, and I have a headache. He just doesn't get it.  The harder I cried the meaner he got. I just don't understand. He'll be here till Tuesday. UGH! Sadly, I don't want him here that long. I kinda  wish he was still on the road. I can't wait to get past this.  I hate when we are in a funk.