Monday, October 11, 2010
Fernando came to my place of employment yesterday. He needed the key to the storage unit. He had a haircut and was clean shaven. He smelled nice. He was very nice and kept wanting to touch me. I wouldn't let him. We talked. Then as I walked back to my department I had to fight back tears. I had to keep reminding myself of the horrible stuff. He has been in my life for so long, it hurt. It hurts that we weren't enough to make him happy. It hurts that he didn't love us enough to take care of us. It hurts that he put himself before us. We sacrificed so much for him. Even with all the bad, he was enough. Why weren't we?