Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Bed what?

Since being on bed rest I am more exhausted than ever! Besides all the extra water I have to drink, which is causing about four times as many bathroom breaks as usual, I think the stress is keeping me up. I know to hand it over to God, HE has never let me down. I, however, have a very hard time doing that. Last night I got up every hour and a half to pee, and then I would lay in bed and count contractions, and worry. I keep dreaming different scenarios where my water breaks.  I have to pack up my toiletries, put in something for me to wear home, grab Mylie's diapers and a bottle and decide can I drive myself or call someone. Who to call? One friend has kids asleep, the other may be at work, if I am not hurting could I make it to the hospital? Would contractions pick up and Talise end up having to deliver her brother? She could do it. She does really well with emergencies. Do I want her to? Heck no! Finally, I'd drift back off to sleep, only to wake up to go pee again and start the process all over. Is it helpful? NOPE! Total waste of time and sleep as I am worn out right now.  I still have at least three hours before nap time! I have read through my pregnancy guide a ton of times. I have referred to Dr. Google too. I have actually felt a bit better after reading up about it online. I feel extremely foolish as this is my third pregnancy, but it's the first time I've dealt with preterm labor. The girls have grown quite grumpy with me. Talise is helping, but is starting to grumble about it.  They are taking advantage of the fact that I am not supposed to chase after them, little stinkers. Talise is worried too though. I can tell.  She asks lots of questions about what if I had Bronson now? Could he breathe? Could he eat? Could we take him home?  Would he live? I try to assure her everything will be fine. I thank her often for her help, even when she is quite grumpy about it. So between the constant trips to the potty, worrying, the girls bickering and Talise grumbling, I am beat!