Thursday, February 15, 2007

I am so extremely let down!

I was right about my husband yesterday. I went to church, and afterwards I stopped got got him something to eat and some meds for his back. I came in the house and he had cooked dinner, which he knows I DO NOT find romantic in any way. He doesn't even cook food that I like. He did that for himself. He didn't eat what I went out and bought him, he didn't even look in the bag of goods I had gotten him. I took a shower and got all dolled up in something sexy. He walked past me like I was not there. I was so hurt. Finally after he went to bed I came in there and asked him how could he treat me this way? I specifically told him several free things that he could've done to show me that I am important to him. He said that I bitch so much that he tunes me out. He said he didn't hear me! I told him that I was extremely let down and disappointed in him. I left the room and started bawling. My daughter came out of her room to see what was the matter. She was upset that I was upset. She wanted to fix it so badly. I felt awful. I pulled myself together and told her to just go to bed that everything was fine. I haven't heard anything from him yet today. I thought maybe he would try to make it up to me, but so far nothing. I have a headache, I've had it for three days, I think it's the Clomid. My breasts are still tender and now I am crampy and my lower back aches. I pray that this cycle is ours! I pray that I find a decent job close to home soon. One where I enjoy my coworkers as much as I did my last job. I miss it there. I do not miss trying to find a sitter every week for Friday evenings. I really hope I find an overnight or day shift position. I really want to work in CT, but so far I haven't had the opportunity. I will continue to pray.