Friday, March 23, 2012

All in all

I vent on here. This is my open book. My outlet. Sometimes my posts are happy because I am. Sometimes they are a bitch fest because that is how I am feeling.  I yap about everything and anything. My life is often hectic. I am pregnant and have three children, two toddlers and a pre-teen. That alone makes my eye twitch! I work. I try to be a decent mom and fiance. Really, I try to behave as a wife. Life just isn't always pretty. It's often a horrid mess. I get by just fine though. I adore my children, even at their worst. Even when I am on the verge of tears. I love my fiance. I'm excited about having another newborn. I just love all the squirmy, squishy goodness of a new baby. I was thinking today how nice it is to be with someone that contributes. I can call Bryan and ask him to pay half or just buy something and so far the answer is OK. I can ask him to stop by the store after work to pick something up and it is always OK. That may seem like no big deal. It is a huge deal to me. I've been the only provider for so long. Just that little bit takes so much stress off of me. I know he will do whatever it takes to provide the best he can. He doesn't have an I am better than that type of attitude. I love him for that. I know that I would shovel poo to feed my kids if I had to. I also know that he'd be shoveling right beside me. That brings me so much security and sense of love and appreciation for him. I've complained about little things he does that gripes me. They still do. Yet, I am amazed that a single man without children would sign up for us. Not that we aren't absolutely fabulous, but that is a lot to take on. Even my father asked him about it. It is a big adjustment and a learning experience for all involved. All in all, he is a good man and I feel blessed to have him. He loves me so very much. I am happy God brought us together.