Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Frustrated

Lately my relationship hasn't been fun. I don't know if it's hormones, if I'm over reacting or what but I am at a loss of what to do to fix it. Bryan wakes up every morning and gripes. He wakes me up to fuss about one thing or another. I do not like it. I refuse to argue over silly things. He gets upset about how I choose to raise/discipline my kids. He thinks I am too passive. He has some points, but they are my babies. I want them to have a happy childhood. I do correct them. I just don't spank often, or for the things he deems worthy. Such things are eating in their rooms, snacks only, we are talking dry Cheerios or a granola bar. Also, drawing on their walls. I do not enjoy them drawing on their walls, and I make them help me clean it and take away whatever they found to draw with. I will not spank them for it. That is too easy of a fix to deem a spank able offense. I vacuum their carpets and steam cleaned the girls room to shut his trap about it. Did it help, nope! He still woke up and starting fussing again this morning. I am not giving in. I've given in to so many silly demands in regards to my kids that I have had enough. I am just so tired of hearing him flip out. He reminds me of a child having a tantrum. Our other issue is sleep. He gets upset at me for wanting to sleep in on Monday mornings. Now I still wake up at 6:20 a.m. to get Talise up and on the bus. I just go lay back down. I usually have to say something to him in order for him to get out of bed when Bronson wakes then he'll come wake me up if he feels I've slept too long so he can take a nap before he goes to work. I am pregnant. I'm 34 years old and work 32 hours over the weekends, I also have three other children. News flash: I AR TIRED! I could understand if I wanted to sleep in everyday, or if I was always a lazy hag but I was not tired before he knocked me up. It hurts my feelings that he doesn't care. I told him that his constant fussing is stressing me out and that isn't good for the baby. His response was well how do you think I feel? I'm getting just beyond myself with the selfishness. I know he's stressed because he's been working as much overtime as he can and just spent a lot of money repairing his car, plus he's worried about supporting us through my maternity leave and such. My first thought with his recent behavior is to run. I lived in a bad environment for 14 years, I do not want that again. I do not want to move my children again as they are happy here. It's the worst with Mylie. That poor girl cannot get a break. She is at a difficult age. She is a strong willed girl. She stands up for herself. I am glad and proud of her. She can push me to my wits end and he seems to always find something wrong with her. She is the main one to get into things and break rules, but HELLO! She is 3! Kinda comes with the territory. It's not just me that feels this way. My mother and HIS mother have both spoken to me about it. His mom is supposed to get his father to talk to him about it. He has a lot of respect for his dad.  I really hope things get better soon because his behavior is really making me want to say mean things to him. I know that will not help the situation at all. I just want the man back that I fell in love with. This overgrown spoiled brat can go back where it came from.