Thursday, September 13, 2012

Looking up!

Tuesday Bryan's father called him. They spoke about all that went on while he was in the hospital. Bryan still refused to call or talk to his mother. I was disappointed. She somehow had it in her head that we weren't going to call her when we have Bree. That is completely not the case. At least that was what I had gotten out of Bryan. I called her yesterday after my doctor's appointment. She was so grateful. Turns out, I was right. It was just a huge misunderstanding due to them both being stressed out and a bit hard headed. She was just saying that while his dad was in the hospital we needed back up just in case. I can completely understand that because if she were here with the kids and something bad happened to her husband she'd be stuck. That would be a horrible place to be. Thankfully, she volunteered to come anytime now as long as my father in law is at home. She said he is doing so much better, his skin tone looks better and he has been joking a lot more. I am very grateful to hear that. Even after I spoke to her I still had to put my foot down to get Bryan to talk to her. He kept saying he knows where he stands now and he has nothing to say. Finally, I explained how upset I'd be if I knew I had upset one of my children that badly that they refused to hear an apology, explanation or anything. I adore my kids and that would just break my heart. So last night he finally spoke to her. I am glad. Even though we don't always see eye to eye, I know she loves her kids and is doing the best she can to try to please everyone. Being a parent is difficult. With that being said, I wrote my mother a letter. I will not beg for forgiveness as she hopes for based on what my aunt told me. I explained why I feel the way I do. I also let her know what is going on with my pregnancy and let her know she is welcome to meet her newest grandchild when ever she chooses. I wrote her rather than call because I truly feel that my calling would just instigate more hurt. She tends to be mean and spiteful when she feels upset, where as I tend to shut down to prevent saying something I cannot take back. I still have the horrible texts she sent me and I will not forget or forgive them. I will ignore and move forward for my children. I feel that I have done more than my share now it is up to her whether she chooses to be involved with them. My aunt had called me last week saying that my mother feels that I am keeping my kids away from her. How? She knows where we live and both Bryan and my phone number. She has chosen to not call or visit. She was invited to come see Talise graduate and to Bronson's birthday. She chose not to acknowledge my efforts. That really upset Talise. Thankfully Bronson isn't old enough to really know what is going on. Either that or just not old enough to express that he knows. I really hope she chooses to come meet Bree and see the kids. I have a strong feeling I will be disappointed though.  I now need to call my father and let him know he is off the hook for baby watch! I worry he may be disappointed. I hope not. He was always really passive with me growing up and I know he wouldn't hurt my children in anyway. I still felt nervous about him watching them for me though. They just aren't as close to him or as used to him as they are my mother in law. I would worry about what he fed them and silly everyday things. I was SO relieved when she volunteered to take over labor watch for me. Now if only I could find a way to coax this little girl out! No way will I try Castor Oil or Evening Primrose Oil ~ YUCK! I'm afraid to go for walks without my husband. We've been so busy between running the kids around to their events and doctor's or dentists appointments we have been completely beat by the time dinner rolls around. We've been in bed by 9 every night this week. It's been heaven! I've been so completely worn out. It's just like my first trimester this past week. I am praying that is a labor sign! I'm grasping at straws over  here! It would be ideal for her to come tonight or sometime after next Tuesday. My in laws anniversary is Saturday, my birthday is Sunday, and Talise's birthday is Tuesday. Tonight would be good. After Talise's kick off concert. Ideal. She'll probably hang out until I am overdue! All my others were early. It is starting to aggravate my husband. He complained the other night about when in the heck is she gonna get tired of being in me already? Didn't the others arrive early? He looked so defeated. I think the anticipation is getting to him. Not much longer.