Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I must brag

My hospital stay with this delivery was the best experience I've had ever. Not only were all of my nurses, doctor's, cna's, dietary ladies, and cleaning staff super nice to me and competent, but my husband was amazing. He was quiet during contractions, that is a big deal for me. I like to just breathe when I hurt. I don't writhe around, scream or whimper.I get inside my head and talk myself through it. In order to do that effectively I need silence and he was respectful of that. When it was go time he stood by me, holding my hand with one hand and rubbing my head with the other. He was encouraging, looked excited while I pushed and helped hold my head forward during pushes. What's even better is that Bryan was dressed well, he cut up with my nurses, acted concerned and asked appropriate questions. He was so compassionate and loving the entire time we were there. This all may seem like common place behavior but it is not at all what I am used to. With my ex husband, any time I was in the hospital for anything, we had an argument. He was often disrespectful to the staff, he would do things that embarrassed me and speak poorly to me. He didn't limit his bad behavior just to births, any hospitalization was open opportunity to be horrid. When I had Talise he made remarks about how fat I still was. With Mylie, as soon as the nurse walked in to triage me he decided he didn't like her. His reason was that she was black and foreign. It didn't matter that she was very pleasant. Every time she spoke to him the response was said hatefully and I had to hear about ho much he didn't want her in the room every time she left the room. I had pre-term labor with Bronson. When he arrived he was wearing an old pair of orange swim trunks that had a hole in the crotch and a too small, stained orange t shirt and his yard shoes. The kids looked dirty and weren't dressed appropriately either. He sat out in the hall rather than in the room with us. When the doctor came in and explained why he was keeping me and the importance of bed rest, he got pissed off because the doctor looked at me when he spoke. He picked a fight with me about it. When I actually had Bronson, we argued about the time I had to go into the hospital, he didn't have enough rest before hand. He slept while I labored. He acted very disinterested, even when they lost Bronson's heartbeat and what seemed like dozens of nurses rushed into the room, rolling me from side to side, mentioning scary things like prolapsed cord (not the case) and compressed cord. He just stood there. When I asked that he call my mother, he did, but then wouldn't allow her to stay while I pushed and refused to cut the umbilical cord. He sat frowned up in the corner most of my stay, and when they came to take my son to be circumcised, something we had already discussed in great length, he acted like a fool. Raising his voice, complaining about be victim to all these stupid Americans. I've also never come home to a clean house before after having a baby. That has always bothered me. Who wants to bring a new baby home to a mess? He never stayed with me while I was in the hospital, not that I really wanted him to. What I am getting to is this: I got to experience the exact opposite and it was heaven. My mother in law was such a tremendous blessing. She came the night I went into labor. She brought my kids to meet Bree on her birthday. Bryan only went home for a couple of hours so she could go prepare meals for my father in law as he had just had a massive heart attack the week before. Bryan stayed with me the entire time. He looked after me, constantly asking what he could do to help me out with Bree. He paid close attention to the doctors orders and the nurses instructions to me. When Bree wouldn't nurse and I started feeling overwhelmed, he reminded me of little tricks that were mentioned to encourage her to latch on. Things that I had forgotten. When we got home...oh my goodness! Not only was their a super cute wreath on the door representing my sweet angel, but my house was spotless. I mean, SPOTLESS! No dirty dishes, no dirty laundry, clean tubs, toilets, floors and counter tops. The kids were fed and all played out. She said she just straightened up some. She did great. I felt such happiness and relief. After visiting with us she offered to go pick up dinner for us, and took Mylie and Bronson with her. After making sure we were all fed she bathed the little ones and put them to bed for us. I felt so much love and care. Since being home Bryan has not let me lift, clean or cook. He's done all the driving and has encouraged me to rest. Now, he is not perfect, far from it. Things haven't been all rosy, but compared to what I am used to, this has been a wonderful experience.