A New Era

The reason for me starting the blog has come to an end. I will still write when I feel the need to. My babies are now 13, 5, 3 and 15 months. Our family is complete.I feel complete satisfaction with the size of our family. I adore each of my children and feel extremely blessed to have them. Our life has fallen into place. I have a wonderful husband. We compliment each other well. We fight just like every one else in a relationship does, but we are devoted to our family. We always find a way to compromise with each other. We are now settled into our gorgeous new home. It is large enough for each child to have a space of their own to get away to. I am so grateful for that. Emma has told me some of her friends have expressed a little envy of her because of her home and the things she has. I will admit that hearing that warms my heart. For the longest time I worried that she would be picked on for not having nice things, being poor. I drove he ugliest, run down vehicles for such a long time. She was embarrassed of them but didn't say anything at the time. Recently she admitted it. She didn't want to hurt my feelings before. It's not that I want her friends to envy her, I'm just glad that we are able to give her a life worth envy. With every thing in a good place, it made it more acceptable when my doctor said the "H" word. Since having Bree I have had a horrid time with my cycles. I have become anemic because of them. The anemia has brought on headaches all the time. At least five a week. I had dizzy spells and felt run down most of the time. My cycles were very painful. Sometimes I couldn't even stand up straight from the pain. All the symptoms made me very irritable. I tried to save my patience for the children so poor Bryan caught the brunt of my irritation. I went to the doctor more than once. We tried different birth control methods, hormones, nothing worked. So, last Friday I had a total hysterectomy. I kept my ovaries. No more periods. No more babies. I expected to grieve. I expected to feel regretful. So far that is not the case. I am healing from surgery, but otherwise feel great. I feel happy. I've felt an increased surge of love towards my husband. I feel OK. Maybe the grieving will come later. Maybe it won't.

Celebrations

We finally got into our brand new home. What a relief to be in a bigger environment. We are no longer all over each other and actually have some quiet. The kids adjusted quickly and love having their own spaces. It's been fun watching them pick out furniture and helping decorate their rooms. Bree is no longer a baby. She is officially a toddler. My last baby is one year old. That fact brings a tear to my eyes. Here is a peak of her first birthday pictures:

Here are some of her party pictures:

She opened presents like a professional. We are so proud of her!
My other September baby is officially a teenager. Emma is 13! That blows my mind.  I wasn't able to get many pictures of her celebrating, she is 13. That should be enough explanation. We celebrated at the county fair.Here are a few pictures:

It's been an eventful month!. I look forward to many more celebrations with my wonderful family in our new home.

Not very lady like

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Trying to figure out how to handle certain situations. From a very young age I've been taught to behave properly. Act like a lady. Be polite. Be the bigger person. Be respectful and respectable. The problem is, that doesn't always work. I can go completely out of my way to be kind and if someone has decided not to like me it doesn't matter. So after great thought and discussion Ive decided why bother? Nothing I have done has changed anything. I don't want to be at all ugly to anyone. However if I am described as psycho, and unliked why not be considered psycho and unliked for good reason? I am by no means saying I will go out of my way to be spiteful, malicious or conniving in any way. I will just no longer hold back. For now on I will speak my mind. Holding it all in breeds resentment. All the resentment built up inside me is not only causing me stress but it trickles out to others. It will be difficult to let go but I bet it will be freeing as well.