Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Time is flying
I cannot believe just how slow time passes when you are trying to get pregnant. Each cycle seems to take an eternity. Every time you see another negative test it seems to slow even more, until you can test again that is. Then when you finally see two lines time creeps along some more. Waiting until you pass the first trimester, so you know everything is ok. So you can allow yourself to get happy. It seemed to me the best part of pregnancy flew by. The first heartbeat, the first kick, sitting back, rubbing my belly, thinking of names. As time flies towards d-day all of a sudden it's back to slow motion. Waiting. Taking note of everything that could possibly be a contraction. When the time finally comes, it's over. I swear, I didn't even realise I was really in labor and then you were here. I tried my best to take in every minute of you being a newborn. I held you a lot. Breathed in your smell. Held you on my chest while you slept, taking in every little baby squirm, and yawn. But life still managed to escape me. In less than one week you will be 10 months old. Just two more months until you are a year. I cannot believe it. It doesn't seem real. You pull yourself up. You cruise along the bed and sofa. You point to what you want. You slap the crap out of us. You say boob, wow, yuck, dada, bye bye. You crawl like a crazy woman. You LOVE taking a bath in the sink, splashing water all over the place. You reach out for me, and cry when I have to leave you. My sweet little baby is starting to look like a toddler. Although you are so much fun now, it's sad. I don't want to miss a second of you. I want you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you. How hard I tried for you. How much I prayed for you, begged for you. You are everything. I am trying to get pregnant again. I want you to have a sibling close to your age to grow up with. Talise is an amazing big sister, but she's just too old to play with you for much longer. I hope again. This time I hope it doesn't take too long to get pregnant. I also hope that I am not making a mistake. I want you top have plenty of baby time. I also don't want to waste time. I love you Mylie Isabel.